A Challenge of Five
by Dark and Death
Summary: Orochimaru gets revenge over the Akatsuki for kicking him out and turns them into birds and selling them to a girl named Fallon in the mortal world. To get back, the Akatsuki must complete five deadly challenges that Fallon and her friends throw at them. Will the Akatsuki be able to complete all of the challenges? Or will they be stuck in the mortal world forever?
1. These Birds Look Weird

These Birds Look Weird

I stood staring at a cage filled with very peculiar looking canaries.

Today was my pet snake, Toa's 10th birthday and for his present, I was going to feed him something special. Perhaps a little bird. He was quite a big burmese python.

Just earlier I drove to this local reptile expo hoping to find some baby chickens for feeding. What I actually found was a very peculiar cage of singing canaries.

There were ten of them in total, each with their own (very odd) features. The first ones that caught my attention were two canaries perching on top of a branch in the front of the cage. One of them had a yellow plumage and was strangely blue eyed. It seemed to be screeching loudly at the hazel eyed, red factor canary next to it. In a high corner of the cage I spotted a purple eyed, dark blue canary quietly chirping to an orange one with... Were those _piercings. _Strange, I've never seen a blue canary before, nor one with piercings all over it. As I looked more closely, I also noticed that the dark blue canary had a small mini paper flower to the side of it's head, kind of like how a girl wears a hair clip. My eye swiveled to a very large, light blue canary with shark-like eyes and three black lines under each of them. It was humbly splashing around in a shallow water dish at the bottom of the cage. Backed up in another corner, perched a sinister looking black canary with red eyes. In fact, it was the only one in the cage that wasn't chirping every so often. At the food dish, I took notice of a half black, half white, green eyed canary. _What kind of mutation was that?_ I thought to myself. A loud screech averted my eyes to another pair of canaries. A sliver canary was violently screeching, no, _screaming_ at a green eyed, dark grey one with... Ok, first an orange one with piercings and now a dark grey one with _stitches_? The silver one was also buffeting its wings wildly as it was screeching at poor stitches who squawked in displeasure. Forget about the yellow one, this guy looked like he was having a swearing frenzy. The tenth one (and probably the craziest) was a small black canary with a bright orange face and one red eye. Although it was hard to see since it was fluttering around the cage like a overly happy, psychopathic, tweedy bird. Everyone in cage seemed mildly annoyed by the little bundle of black feathers. The grey one even turned to bird swear at it for a few seconds.

Well, the light blue one would certainly be a nice meal for Toa... It looked so unique though. All of them looked so unique. I wouldn't think anybody would want to sell them for mere snake food.

I searched for the price tag. _$40.00 for all_, a small cardboard sign read, but it didn't say anything about _each_. After all, I was only interested in the red and yellow one.

I spotted the sales guy slumped down on a metal chair in front of me. Man, he's really not someone you'd see every day. Long black hair, circle shaped iron earrings, pale skin, topped off with long jeans, a leather jacket and shades.

"Umm... Excuse me, would you sell these guys separately?" I asked and pointed to the cage.

"No. Sorry dear, but they come together." His voice was even eerier than his look. It was so raspy I almost winced at the sound of it.

"Oh." Then I though for a second. Maybe I could just buy them all, keep the red and yellow one, and then give the rest to my friends as a gift. We could even come up with names for them together! _They'd love that!_

"Ok, I'll take them all please." I reached into my pocket and pulled out two, twenty dollar bills. The sales man grinned (a terrible sight).

"Will that be all?" He crooned. I then glanced at small cage of live, healthy looking rats next to the canaries.

"I'll also take one of those big rats too." I added an extra two bucks to the forty. Toa would be happy with just a nice plump rat right?

He took the money in hand and got started packing my canaries in small cardboard boxes. Man, those canaries sure _hated_ him. As soon as he unlocked and opened the little cage door all of the birds started screeching and squirming. The black one with the orange face cried out as it blindly rammed itself straight into the box. The man swiftly grasped the black and white one in mid-flight, tossed it in right behind the black, and closed the box. I pitied green eyes for having to deal with psychopathic tweedy bird for about an hour drive. With another fresh box in hand, he then went for my yellow and red canaries. The yellow was currently having a panic attack over the hand being just inches away from it's perfectly groomed plumage. While the red factor sat patiently perching on the same branch as if happened. Yellow shrieked in alarm as the hand grabbed him. It seemed to turn to the red one and squeak something.

"Help me Sasori my man, yeah!" I heard him cry to the red. My eyes widened. Were my ears playing tricks on me now? Instead of helping, the red factor casually hopped onto the pale arm and glared at the yellow.

"Must you be such an idiot, Deidara?" The red factor replied. I blinked. Ok, now I needed to see the doctor and a psychiatrist. The yellow one just pouted and was tipped into the the box along with the red.

"Excuse me." I interrupted as the woman, uh... _man_ unfolded another cardboard box.

"Yes,"

"What genders are the birds?" I asked.

"There all male except for the dark blue one over there." He answered without looking at me.

Before I knew it, he had all of my canaries and rat in cardboard boxes lined with a few air holes on the sides.

The drive home, was... Loud. Every single one of them chirped and screeched in their crammed tight, cluster phobic, cardboard boxes. _Scree, scree, scree_. Was basically all I could hear for the first ten minutes of the drive. My ears were just about ready to pop.

"SHUDDUP!" I shouted back, and almost veered into the wrong lane. Curse my stupid sixteen year old driving skills. Surprisingly, all the cardboard boxes fell silent next to my seat. I looked over a little more carefully this time. I immediately regretted it when I saw the grey canaries' head pop out from an air hole and squawked at me.

"Fuck you!" He seemed to say through his half opened beak. I twitched an eyebrow.

"When we get home, I'm ah coat you in pink glitter!" That shut the grey up. He gave one more squawk of protest and slinked his head back into the box.

After that, I called up my best buds, Victoria, Antonietta, Jesse, and Denia. Thankfully, they all answered the phone at the same time.

"Hey, guys! You busy this afternoon?" I began.

"Nope." They all said in unison.

"Great! Meet at my house with a bird cage for a surprise, kay?"

"Wait, why do we need a bird cage?" Antonietta asked. She was so quite I had to press my whole ear against the phone to hear her.

"Cause you're gonna get a bird." Then I hung up, hopefully leaving them with enough cliffhangers for them to actually show up.

I ran my fingers through my dark brown hair and blinked my earthen brown eyes. Those birds sure looked like the Akatsuki. _Nah, they're just some weird mutations._ I thought.

I arrived at my house about thirty minutes later and saw them all waiting at my doorstep.

"Hey, guys!" I shouted to their backs. They all turned with bird cages in hand. Their hair graciously brushing over their shirts as they turned. Victoria's shoulder length bronze hair reflected light off my mirrors, while Jesse (with her hair a little curlier) and Denia had their gleaming black hair wrapped in ponytails. Antonietta's black hair was straight, long, and had a few braids down along the side. I waved at them.

"Fallonie!" Jesse waved back. My name was actually Fallon.

"Hey," Denia greeted. Victoria and Antonietta just smiled back. I opened the garage door, parked, and jumped out of the car. They all stood in front of the garage.

"So what's the big surprise?" Victoria demanded as she approached. I walked over, opened the other front car door, and gestured to the birds.

"Tada!" I exclaimed. "Happy international friendship week!" Jesse's jaw dropped.

"What are-" Victoria began.

"BIRDIES!" Jesse screamed and lunged with arms outspread for the boxes of... Birdies.

"Whoa, Jess." I stopped her.

"Birdie?" She peeped.

"Let's get birdies inside first."

With a little help from my friends, we managed to get the birds inside. We now sat criss cross in a tight circle on the living room floor.

"Can we see the birdies now?" Jesse pleaded.

"Sure." I said as I opened a cardboard box. My red and yellow canaries looked up and chirped at me. I saw my friends awing at their opened gifts.

"What the?" Victoria commented.

"PRETTY BIRDIE!" Jesse chided.

"Why does this bird have piercings?" Denia cocked her head.

"This is a rat." I took the box from Antonietta.

"Oh, sorry. That's Toa's." I handed her an unopened box at my side.

"Fallon, where did you get these birds." She asked.

"At the reptile expo actually."

"Are you sure they're normal?" Denia put one finger into the box and let the orange bird with piercings perch on top of her finger.

"No, actually. Happy friendship week!" I changed the subject.

"Thanks, Fallon." They all said in unison.

"Your welcome."

"Fallonie!" Jesse gave me one, huge, suffocating hug and let go. I smirked.

"We should name them." Antonietta brought out her pitch black canary with red eyes.

"Fallon, you first." Victoria added.

"Alright." I brought out my yellow and red canary. "I think I'll name the yellow one, Helios and the red one, Aegis. After the sun god and the legendary shield." I announced stoically. I saw Helios puff up his chest and proudly chirped at his new given name. Aegis seemed to be doing what I thought to be, a little birdie smirk."Who's next?"

"I think I'll name these two guys Midnight and Waterfall." Antonietta raised her large light blue bird and her pitch black one on her right and left finger.

"Aqua and Flame." Denia said to the dark blue and the orange one with piercings.

"Silver and Stitches." Victoria added. There was a long pause.

"What are you going to name yours Jesse?" I asked her.

"Candy and Domino!" She squealed happily.

"Candy?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Domino?" Victoria cocked her head.

Candy seemed to be over joyed by his new name and started gleefully hopping on top of Jesse's head and singing loud joyous song. It sounded very much like-

"Good boy, good boy. Candy, is a good boy!" The crazed little bird seemed to chide that over and over again. We all giggled and smiled. Then I noticed something sitting at the bottom of my cardboard box. It was a small slip of paper. I picked it up and let Helios and Aegis perch on my left thigh instead.

"Hey guys, check this note out." I said. Antonietta edged closer.

"Well... What does it say?" Victoria demanded. I read the slip of paper aloud.

"Use these hand signs to release jutsu, then say _release_ after doing hand signs correctly." The slip of paper read. I didn't see any hand signs on the front, so I flipped to the back. I then found pictures of three different hand signs in order from one to three.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Victoria crossed her arms and put on a stern look.

"I don't know, but I guess it's worth a shot." I shifted my shoulders and did the three hand signs in the picture.

"Release." I said at the end. Then a huge could of smoke erupted from my left thigh and spread across the living room. The exact place where Helios and Aegis were perching.

"Whoa!" I yelped and stood up. My friends did the same while letting the birds perch on their shoulders. Sensing that someone was now there, I backed up and drew a combat knife from my right pocket. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Victoria and Antoinette snatch some of my brother's drum sticks off the wooden floor and held them at the ready. Denia reached for my grandpa's old walking cane in the coat closet, while Jesse grabbed some... Towels in the... Bathroom? As the smoke was clearing up I saw the silhouette of two males. One taller with a high... Was that a ponytail? The other shorter with short spiky hair.


	2. I Put Toa in Charge

My Eyes Go Permanently Blind

We were just about to charge at the intruders when I realized (judging from their silhouettes) that they weren't even wearing any cloths. I wasn't really in the mood to fight a bunch of nude dudes with no cloths on.

I quickly averted my eyes before the smoke completely diminished.

"What the hell?" Denia knit her eyebrows.

"Eeek!" Jesse squealed.

"Ah no! Jesse, throw them some towels already!" I covered my eyes as I heard Jesse snatch two white towels off the bathroom shelf and throw them at the intruders.

"Thanks, yeah." The voice came from the one with a ponytail. I decided it was safe to open my eyes again. I was wrong.

The mist had now completely cleared up and two (really hot) guys now stood before us. I recognized them immediately. The one on the right was (shirtless) Sasori and to the left, (shirtless) Deidara. Whoa, they really did have nothing on but bathroom towels, and the towels weren't exactly long either (it exposed most of their legs). Even though Sasori was a puppet that didn't make him any less... Hotter. I think my nose just started bleeding.

Just as the two were about to explain themselves, I heard a knock coming from the front door. Shoot! My brother came home early this time! I turned to my friends.

"Get them in the bathroom." I pointed my combat knife behind me towards Sasori and Deidara. I heard the knock again. "Quickly!"

"But wait, who-" Denia began.

"Just do it! I'll try to buy us some time, alright?" I then left them to it as I sprinted across the whole house to the front door.

"Coming!" I yelled on the way. I skidded to a halt in front of the wooden door. I turned the brass knob and yanked the door open. My eighteen year old brother, Seth, stood at the door step. His dark brown, mop hair flowing in the afternoon breeze, while his hazel eyes fixated on me.

"Hey, sis. Sorry, left the keys in the house." He greeted. "Why do you have the knife drawn?" Seth pointed to my left hand.

"Oh, no reason." I retracted the knife and slipped it back into my pocket. I completely forgot about it. He then looked puzzled as I didn't budge from the entrance.

"What are doing? Let me in already." Seth stepped closer. I slammed both of my hands against the door frame.

"Oh, I'll let you in. If I could borrow your cloths for some time." I grinned. He looked even more confused.

"What? What do you need my cloths for?"

"Something." He sighed.

"Fine. As long as you don't rip or use them as one of your blood towels."

"Deal." I confirmed.

"Ok, so let me in already."

"And... If you give me the keys to the family van."

"You're not even making any sense." Seth dug into his back pocket and pulled out the car keys. He plopped them straight into my outstretched hand.

"Now I'm going into the house wether you like it or not." He pushed one of my arms off the frame and slipped in. Darn it! They needed more time.

"Wait!" I caught up to him and tugged the back side of his shirt.

"What?" He whirled around, looking slightly irritated.

"You're not staying right?" He knit his eyebrows.

"No. I'm staying at Kyle's for a week. Didn't I already tell you that?"

"Oh yeah, forgot." I rubbed my neck. "What're you hear for?"

"My stuff and the house keys."

"Right..."

"Man, you're losing it sis. Too much time to yourself in this depressing house?" Seth turned and started walking to... Oh no, the bathroom!

"Wait! How long are mom and dad going to be gone?" I grabbed his arm.

"Uh... About three weeks. Didn't you already hear this?" He looked exasperated.

"Oh, yeah. You're right, I am starting to lose it." He smirked. Ok, looks like I've given them enough time. I followed him to the bathroom.

Just then a whole cloud of white smoke slammed into our faces as we got near the bathroom. I thought it had already cleared up by now. _Oh, no. Don't tell me that they did the hand signs and said release again. _Shoot!

Seth coughed and started swatting away the several white clouds of smoke as he was walking.

"Man, Fallon. What kind of wild creature did you cook up from the family range this time?" He coughed.

"Oh, uh... Just trying out a new recipe." I lied.

"Whew, some recipe, eh." He swatted the last puff of smoke and then partially opened the bathroom door.

"Wait, are you going to be in their long?" I asked. He turned to me.

"No, I'm just gonna wash my hands and face." Seth answered innocently. "Gosh sis, you're such a worry wart today."

"Ugh, you have no idea." I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes.

Seth opened the door to it's full extent and saw my friends Victoria, Antonietta, Jesse, and Denia crammed in there together. Wait, what happened Sasori and Deidara?

"What are all you guys doing in here?" He paused. "You know what, I'm not even gonna ask. Get out." Victoria, Antonietta, Denia, and Jesse filed out of the bathroom. Seth closed the door behind him and out of my mouth, came a hundred questions.

"Where are they? What did you do with them? And what's with that white cloud of smoke?" I whispered.

"Antonietta did the hand signs." Victoria pointed at her.

"Well you're the one who said, release." Antonietta crossed her arms.

"Guys..." I grumbled.

"Sorry, we were just trying to see how it worked." Jesse whimpered.

"Great. Now I've got a bunch of nude Akatsuki members running rampage around my parents house."

"Ha! I told you they were the Akatsuki!" Antonietta chided to Victoria.

"We gave them towels and Konan a dress." Denia added. I froze.

"Wait, what dre-" Right then, my brother got out of the bathroom door, hair wet and glossy smelling like fresh citrus. He didn't seemed to notice anything strange in the bathroom. We all stood frozen and staring at him.

"Hey sis, what did you do with all the towels?" He asked and then paused. "Why are you all looking at me like that?" Seth knit his eyebrows.

"Nothing." We all answered in unison.

"Their in the laundry." I lied.

"Fine then." He grasped the handle of his suitcase to the side of the bathroom door and snatched a pair of house keys off the top of the coat closet.

"See ya in a week sis. Try not to get all emo in the meanwhile, kay?"

"Oh, I won't. Bye, Seth." I waved as he departed through the garage door with a smirk across his face.

I waited until I heard him start up is sliver Mercedes-Benz and leave for the chance to talk. Once I heard the garage door close. I sprinted to the bathroom.

"Sasori? Deidara? You in here?" I looked all around the room, but there was no sign of them.

"Up here, yeah." The voice came from the ceiling. I looked up to see Sasori and Deidara with their backs attached to the ceiling by chakra. Sasori's face being very close to Deidara's feet as they were hanging upside down. No wonder my brother didn't notice them, he hardly ever looks up in the first place.

"Get your foot out of my face, brat." Sasori growled. Deidara turned his head.

"Sorry, danna." He apologized and then elegantly landed on top of the bathroom floor in front of me with the grace of a cat. Sasori did the same a moment later.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you guys get here in the first place?" I asked.

Earlier, my friends and I rounded up all the Akatsuki members in the living room for a meeting that Pein called up.

The five of us sat across from them on a black leather couch, while all ten of them sat (a little squished) contently on my parents very long white sofa. Each of them commenting on how soft it was. They were currently all wearing Seth's T-shirts and jeans, while Konan wore my silky raven blue dress. It did fit her beautifully though.

As I was asking the question, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that my friends were checking them out. Antonietta was currently staring intently at Itachi, Victoria's gaze was fixated onto Deidara, and I noticed Denia shooting several glances at Hidan. Jesse was a little different. She had on a wicked caffeinated smile directed at Tobi who strangely didn't seem to mind at all. I even found my own eyes drifting to Sasori for a while. Shoot!

"That snake, Orochimaru put a justu on us that turned us into birds and transported us to your world." Pein answered.

"Tsk, that no good bitch tricked us." Hidan added. An idea sparked in my mind.

"Leader, sama. Do you know long this justu would last?" I questioned.

"We overheard something about two weeks." Konan answered my question.

"Ah, but did you hear that in those two weeks you'd have to complete five challenges in the meanwhile?"

"Challenges?" Sasori turned to me. I nodded.

"Fuck!" Hidan argued.

"And what are these_ challenges_?" Pein knit his pierced eyebrows. _Yes! They totally fell for it!_

"They will be revealed to you by tomorrow." I stood up, looking like the most serious, authoritative person in the world. "For now, I would like to set some ground rules in this house. No sacrificing or killing, even if it is for your religion." I paused to glare at Hidan who made a pouty face. "If you break anything, Kakazu's paying. Lastly, no vandalism. That means that I shouldn't find blood on any of the carpets, walls, or ceilings while I'm gone." I snatched my satchel off the table.

"Ha! What if we do disobey one of your so called_ rules_." Hidan smirked. I grinned. I was hoping someone would have the guts to ask me that.

"Then I can't guarantee your safety against Toa."

"Who the fuck is Toa?"

"Oh, right you haven't met him yet." Then I whistled. Two seconds later, Toa the fourteen foot long burmese python came sluggishly slithering down the steps.

"SNAKE!" Hidan squealed. He jumped and backed up about ten steps. The Akatsuki all chuckled in unison.

I ushered my friends to get up and follow me.

"Wait, where are you guys going?" Konan noticed us about to leave out of the garage door.

"The mall. We need to buy some supplies for your challenges tomorrow." I turned my head to the right.

"I'm leaving Konan and Toa in charge. Don't mess anything up." I warned and exited the house with Victoria, Antonietta, Jesse, and Denia following quickly behind. I pulled the out the keys to my black Lexus SUV and we all filed inside. Me at the wheel, Antonietta in the seat next to me, and Jesse, Victoria, and Denia in the back. Right when we were out on the road, they started attacking me with a bunch questions.

"What were those five challenges you were talking about back there?" Antonietta asked.

"What kind of jutsu was that?" Victoria interrupted.

"Are they really staying here for two weeks?" Denia questioned.

"Can we get some cookies?" Jesse drooled.

"That was some kind transformation plus teleportation jutsu. Yes, I believe they're really staying with us for two weeks. I lied about the five challenges, and yes Jesse, we can get some cookies at the mall on the way back." I replied.

"Yay!" Jesse cheered.

"Oh, Ok." Victoria leaned back in her seat satisfied.

"Really?" Denia almost cheered. I nodded and she blushed.

"You lied?" Antonietta looked shocked.

"Yep. Now we can get them to do whatever we want." I gave her a wicked grin that any serial killer would be jealous of. "No need to thank me."

"Fallon, you sly dog." Antonietta smiled.


	3. Wine, a Weapon of Mass Destruction

Death: The third chapter is finally here! Took a while to write. This is probably the funniest chapter currently. Reviews are appreciated!

* * *

"I hope it was wise of you to leave Konan in charge." Antonietta grumbled.

"Don't sweat it, they'll be fine." I waved at her leisurely from the drivers seat.

We had just recently got back from the mall to pick up the _supplies_ for the challenges. Not to mention to get Jesse some cookies from the bakery, which she was now munching on loudly in the back seat. Man, that girl could eat.

I looked back at the stacked pile of stuffed plastic bags for all of the challenges we had in mind. Good thing our families were pretty rich. We had also stopped by the grocery store to pick up some food for us and all the Akatsuki. I was glad that my buds all planned on staying overnight for the two weeks, I needed the extra cooking skills. Besides, all that was left in the fridge was just a whole lot of liquor and wine that my parents bought as souvenirs from their last vacation trip to France. Holy shoot! The liquor and wine! Don't tell me that they actually thought that it was sake! Oh, no. If they got a hold of that weapon of mass destruction that my parents called wine, I'm not sure Konan could actually hold them back. Or Toa. Sure he could strangle Hidan to death for the mess, but what about the other members? Shoot, shoot, SHOOT!

With that horrible picture of drunken Akatsuki members fresh in mind, I stepped on the pedal with the force of a small train wreck. My friends all lurch back against their leather seats.

"Whoa, Fallon slow down! Your gonna get a speeding ticket." Denia warned as she gripped the arms of the SUV seat.

"I don't care!" I stepped on the pedal harder with my teeth gritted and eyes wide. They all stared at me.

"What's wrong now?" Victoria demanded.

"This is scary." Jesse whimpered and huddled her chocolate chip cookies closer to her.

"The fridge." I spoke through gritted teeth. Then I steer turned for a short cut home. I looked at my watch. 6:00 pm. Three hours. I left the Akatsuki, a vicious band of serial killers, alone in the house for three full hours.

"What do you mean? There's only a bunch of your parents wine, liquor, and vod... Oh, God." Denia's jaw dropped as she realized what she just said.

"You don't think that they would actually be smart, or dumb enough to be able to open up one of those glue gun, sealed shut bottles do you?" Antonietta eyed me with the up most concern. I wouldn't face her directly. She's got this kind of hypnotic look to her eyes. Being the daughter of two famous psychics, she had a knack for getting anything she wanted.

"I don't know. Those bottles are locked up pretty tight, but these are cold blooded killers we're talking about. I'm pretty sure they could open up just about anything." I replied gravely.

"Well, what are you going to do if we get home and they're all drunk like you said?" Victoria asked.

"Well... Not all of them would get drunk." I lifted a finger. "Sasori can't drink because he's a puppet. I think Konan would be wise enough, after witnessing the results on the other members, to not even go near a single bottle."

"Are you sure..." Victoria gave me one of her famous death stares. She was really good at those. I hid my frightened expression.

"Well, Fallon is usually always right." Antonietta pointed out.

About a minute later, we arrived at the house. I winced as I pressed the button that opened the garage door. Hopefully, they didn't go drunk in the garage, or else I would have some trouble parking. You know, the amount of blood on the car would just be unbelievable. Eh, I guess I couldn't help being a little sadistic at times.

When it was open to its full extent, I didn't see any drunken Akatsuki members in the garage. Aw... I was looking forward to a nice black and blood stained SUV.

Once I unlocked the car door, we all jumped out. I opened the back trunk and we all unloaded the supply bags, each of us carrying about twenty or thirty pounds worth of it in our hands. We jogged to the garage door as best we could with twenty pound weights dragging us down. I knock on the door. Surprisingly, there was an answer almost immediately. It was Konan, and she looked _awful_.

Her silky blue hair was in terrible matts, as if they'd been victim to some crude game of hair tug of war. The paper flower that she wore on her head was crumpled and withered. Her, _my_ dress was completely soaked in alcohol with several glass shards embedded in it. How was I suppose to repair _that_? She was panting like she had just sprinted six miles and her soft purple eyes were now wide open and bloodshot.

"Fallon, Victoria, Antonietta, Jesse, Denia. Oh thank God your back!" She managed as she slumped against the door frame.

"Konan, what happened?" I demanded.

"You look terrible." Antonietta added.

"See for yourself." She managed to point a weak finger inside the house before collapsing onto her side in front of the bathroom entrance. Hmm... Charming.

My friends and I all rushed into the house, threw our shoes off, laid down the bags, and carefully maneuvered our way around broken glass bottles and multicolored glass shards into the living room. Just as I predicted. It was chaos. Why do I always have to be right?

Tobi was jumping up and down off the couches and leather sofas like they were trampolines in the living room. He commanded them like a drunken acrobat, occasionally slamming himself into the ceiling every so often and managing to pass out for five seconds, then leaped up to started the whole endless cycle all over again.

"That looks fun!" Jesse beamed.

"No, Jesse. It's not _fun_." Victoria gave Jesse another death glare, but sadly, death glares had no effect on fluffy, jumpy, candy obsessed girls what so ever. Jesse just stood there beaming at Tobi longingly.

I spotted Zetsu flirting with some of my exotic 4 foot tall jungle venus flytraps. Was that vodka he was dumping into the plant's soil in large amounts? My jaw dropped. Kakazu was soooo paying for that.

Near the front door I spotted Toa having a strangle war with Hidan while hissing at his face. His body was so completely entangled in Toa's scales, that only his arms and head seemed to be visible. Right then Hidan spotted the five of us watching in sadistic satisfaction.

"Get this mother fucker off me!" Hidan screamed.

"Hiss!" Toa wrapped around him tighter, crushing three of Hidan's rib bones as he cussed some more. Too bad for Toa that Hidan was immortal, but it was definitely fun watching the show though.

"I'm going to go grab some popcorn." Denia chuckled as she jogged to the kitchen.

"Bitch! Get back here!" Hidan called after her. Ah, teen romance.

"Ok, guys split up!" I called to them. "Try to get them under as much control as possible, kay?" They all nodded. "Victoria, Jesse, check out what's going on upstairs. Denia and I will handle the chaos down here, and Antonietta, you give us the 411 on what's happening down in the basement." I turned to the kitchen. "I need to find Sasori."

We all split up. Victoria and Jesse rushed up the stairs, while Antonietta sprinted to the basement entrance. I decided to follow Denia into the kitchen.

The entrance I took to it didn't offer a full view, so I only so a portion of it. The portion however, was far more than I could handle. Sasori lay spread eagled and shirtless on the white marble kitchen floor just seven feet away from me. His red hair soaked with liquor and entangled in shards of glass as if somebody had actually managed to slam a glass bottle directly at his face that was now limp in the opposite direction as me. I rushed over and knelt by his side.

"Sasori." I shook his shoulder. "Sasori, wake up!" I shouted as I shook a little harder this time. When I didn't get a response, I turned his head towards me. I almost jumped. Where his eyes were suppose to be were just two, empty, wooden sockets. I gasped. Where the hell were his eyes? Then I stared at the area of his chest where I was expecting to find his heart, but what I found was yet another round, empty socket. What the hell happened to his heart? No wonder his eyes were empty, but seriously, where _was_ his heart?

That question was soon answered when out of the chaos I heard Deidara's drunken voice speak up.

"Bye, bye, Sasori my man, hmm!" I whirled my head around towards the direction of the voice. My eyes locked onto Deidara holding up Sasori's heart in one hand and a foot long kitchen knife in the other, lurching back for a straight, direct stab. Holy shoot!

With lightning speed, I snatched another random kitchen knife off the floor and hurled it at Deidara's knife like a light weight Frisbee. The blades of the two knives made contact and then spun off into the distance. Deidara stood with a puzzled expression on his face, as if to say, _where did that knife go_?

While he was momentarily occupied awing at his own palm (or hand mouth) I took advantage of the moment and leapt on top of the black marble kitchen counter. Then, probably made a thousand fan girls jealous by tackling him head on. [What? I just needed to get Sasori's heart back. Honest!] Right after I rammed my left shoulder into his right side, he did exactly what I wanted. He lost his grip on the heart. I swiftly snatched it out of the air with my right hand. It didn't feel all that thrilling though. The warm red veins that jutted out entangled and tickled my fingers so bad, I had to keep myself from laughing out loud. On top of that, it's texture was undeniably squishy. Darn right it was freaky!

I was in fact, so mesmerized by it, that I didn't even notice the fact that I'd just crashed onto the floor on top of Deidara. Most likely cutting off his circulation for a split second having me (I weigh a staggering 130 pounds by the way. Yeah, I'm not shy about it either.) crash land onto his chest. He was, without a doubt, out cold.

I found my footing slowly, having to shuffle away all those pesky, mini glass pricks that littered the floor, and stood up with Sasori's live beating heart still in hand. Realizing that I had just knocked Deidara out cold, I was about to reach down and shake him awake until a thought crossed my mind. Maybe it was better if the drunk, S-ranked criminal were to be sleeping in the midst of chaos.

Just as I was about to insert Sasori's heart back in, I was attacked by the pungent aroma of ethanol. _I couldn't shove a heart into a body with ethanol. Could I_? I went with couldn't. [Sorry, Sasori haters. Why would you even hate Sasori anyways? (He's so HOT!)] I looked around the kitchen. Frankly, despite the chaos happening everywhere else, we were alone. Until I heard a very familiar swearing screech.

"Just help get this snake off me, bitch!" Hidan swore at Denia. She didn't look too happy about that, but I heard her sigh.

"Fine, buzz-kill." Denia then rubbed Toa's only soft spot (the right underside of his jaw). My lovely snake twitched, did a little serpentine giggle, and collapsed onto the carpeted floor in a heap.

Just as Hidan was getting himself untangled in the mess of scales, Denia brought out from behind her what seemed to be, a wickedly thick baseball bat. Must have been my brother's before he completely ditched the entire sport. What do you do to a guy that continuously swears to your face when there's a baseball bat in your hand. Denia will show us.

When Hidan's back was turned, she swung the bat full force into the back of his head.

"Bitch..." With that, Hidan collapsed spread eagled onto the floor beside Toa. Denia gave a victory cheer, holding the baseball bat up with two hands like a trophy and shouting out-

"Who's the bitch now, jerk!" I smirked at her glory. Hmm... My friends.

"Denia!" I felt guilty to end her little celebration, but it had to be done. She looked over.

"Oh, there you are, Fallon. Huh, didn't see you there." She rubbed the backside of her neck.

"Anyway, can you go grab me the garden hose from the garage, please?" I asked. She looked at me with a puzzled expression. "I need to rinse out the ethanol in Sasori's puppet body." I explained further.

"Wait, wouldn't it be better if Sasori was knocked out anyways?" Denia cocked her head.

"No, he's a puppet, so he's not drunk."

"Oh..." With that, she rushed to the garage.

Within a few seconds she brought out a large green garden hose leading to a rusty pipe. Denia dragged the rubber rope into the kitchen.

"Careful." I warned as I pointed to the several kitchen knives on the ground. She took notice and carefully swayed around each and every one them. She handed me the tip and I took it.

"On my signal, ok?" I said as she jogged to the garage. I stood up pointing the front of the hose at Sasori's chest.

"Ok, Denia, let it rip!" I signaled. I heard a rusty creak as she turned the valve on and a whole jet stream of water came gushing out of the nasal. I was carful to only spray the chest area and interior. Then, I sensed the hose starting to get out of control. It started to come alive. It shook, slithered and squirmed in my hands. More and more water gushing out of it, until it was too harsh to even aim at Sasori.

"Uh, Denia. You can turn it off now." I said towards the garage. There was no answer and the water kept gushing out in dangerously large amounts.

"Denia turn it off!" I demanded.

"Sorry, I can't! The valve is stuck!" She replied.

"What?" Now the water was on full blast. I struggled to get it under control, to aim it down towards the floor, but that only sprayed more water everywhere. I couldn't hold the hose with one hand any more. I reached down and shoved Sasori's heart back into the wooden socket. About two seconds later, his hazel eyes blinked open.

"Nice of you to join the party!" I shouted over the raging sounds water. Out of the noise, I heard him stand up.

"What's going on?" Sasori asked me.

"Gosh, I can't even get a thank you for saving your butt!" I yelled. Without knowing, I aimed the hose a little too high, and shot Tobi straight in the mask in midair.

"Oops." I said to Tobi passed out on a leather couch.

"No, wait that's good." Sasori commented behind me. He then took the wild hose out of my hands.

"What are you-"

"Hey, Zetsu!" He called to the plant man. Zetsu turned towards us. As I predicted, Sasori blasted the hose straight at his face. Zetsu made a few gurgling noises and was out cold on the floor just like Tobi.

"Nice one." I complemented. Sasori looked back and _smiled_. He actually, smiled! At me! I couldn't help but blush a little. Snapping out of it, I took the those out of his hands and covered the nose of it with my palm. The force was strong though. I felt it poking, pushing, and prodding with all it's might against my hand. It took almost all of my strength to hold it back.

"Follow me." I gestured. We both ran to the garage. I opened the door. Denia was still struggling to turn the valve off when she noticed us.

"Sasori, Fallon! Glad you came. Anyways, can one of you guys... HELP ME OUT?" Denia looked exasperated. I bet Sasori wouldn't be much help with strength (you know, he's wood and all), so I handed him the hose.

"Here, hold this." I said to Sasori. He took it, but the water kept on gushing out. "Cover it!" He obeyed, but even then, spits of water seemed to escape.

I rushed over to Denia and tugged on the valve along with her. I heard a hopeful little creak.

"Pull harder!" I exclaimed.

"I'm trying!" Denia shut her eyes closed as we both tugged. Finally, it budged more and more.

"It's working." I heard Sasori say. We kept on pulling until the water finally stopped.

I sighed in relief as Denia crouched down on the garage floor. Sasori walked over and handed me the hose. I took it, shifted my shoulders, and threw it back onto the floor.

"Come one guys." I brushed the rust off of my hands. "Let's check on Victoria, Jesse, and Antonietta." I lead the way across the water soaked floor, back into the house.

We decided to check the basement first, since I was concerned about Antonietta being all alone with all the possible Akatsuki members. I figured knocking them out would be easier now with Sasori and his metal rope thingy on our side.

I lead the way down the steps and switched on all the basement lights. As we were walking down the steps I heard a very, _very_, disturbed laugh. I knit my eyebrows.

"What was that?" Denia and I questioned in unison.

"That's Kakazu's laugh." Then I felt a hand lightly rest on my shoulder. It was Sasori's. I blushed like mad. Shoot!

"Some laugh." Denia saved me. I shook my head out of it and continued down the steps.

When we got down, the lights were already on. I spotted a crazy Kakazu going mad tossing money everywhere out of his suitcase and occasionally sprinkling it back onto himself. I made a face.

"Ok... No comment." I then spotted Antonietta in a corner crouched over a passed out Pein with a broken, empty glass bottle clutched in her hand. She also had this psychotic grin on her face and she was breathing unsteadily.

"Oh, you two are here." She turned her head towards us and put on the most insane smile I've ever seen. Has she gone mad or what? Then her gaze fixed onto Sasori behind me.

"DIE!" She screamed and started sprinting towards us, broken glass bottle aimed directly at Sasori's face. Thank badness she wasn't that fast though. I blocked the hand with the bottle clutched in it.

"No, no. Sasori's ok. He's not drunk." I eased her as I yanked the broken bottle out of her hand and threw it at Kakazu's head. He gave one last twitch and passed out onto the floor. Antonietta looked up at me in confusion. See, she had these spastic moments at times (especially when she was harming someone) that enable her to have these almost animalistic characteristics. How do you know when she's in spastic mode, she grins at you like a lunatic. Strange thing is, she tends to not remember anything while she's in spastic mode. Like I said earlier, she was the daughter of two famous psychics, so spirits could latch onto her or something. Giving her odd bursts of energy and sudden personality changes.

"Oh, sorry." She rubbed the back of her neck as I released her. "Was I in spastic mode again?"

"Sort of. Well, at least you knocked out Pein." I gestured. She turned to Pein then Sasori.

"Oh, sorry. Will leader forgive me." She begged with all concern to Sasori, who looked confused as ever.

"Uh, sure. I don't think he'll even remember when he wakes up." He said. Antonietta sighed in relief.

"Alright, let's go check on Victoria and Jesse now." I ushered and led the way up the stairs.

When we got upstairs to Victoria and Jesse. I saw that they already had everything under control. The prof? Kisame passed out in the hallway with a huge red bump on his forehead and Itachi soundly sleeping across from him with the aroma of sleeping pills wafting up in his direction. I spotted Jesse almost immediately as she was tucking pillows and draping blankets over the two of them.

"Nice job, Jesse." I waved to her. She shot up and turned her head towards us.

"Fallonie! Dennie! Annie!" She screeched with glee. Then looked at Sasori in confusion.

"It's ok. He's not drunk." I pointed to the back of me. Victoria then popped out of the guest room beside Jesse.

"About time you showed up." Victoria complained as she clutched an almost empty bottle of sleeping pills in one hand and a dented golf club in the other. I stared at her then the golf club.

"Don't worry I can fix it, but we're gonna to need to buy another bottle of these sleeping pills." She rattled the few pills still left in the container. Last time I checked the bottle was full. Did she really use all of that? "Speaking of fixing, I figured you guys already handled the problem down there, kept on hearing these horrible gushes of water." Victoria put a finger to her mouth.

"Yeah, we flooded the main floor." I admitted. "You might not want to go down there in the meanwhile."

"I'll be. What time is it?" She stared down at my watch. I held my wrist up to my face.

"About, eight." I read the time.

"Just eight? Are you kidding me? I'm already exhausted." Denia commented.

"Same here. You get tired after knocking out a couple of Akatsuki members." I added. My friends all nodded in unison.

"Alright, so it's decided." I clamped my hands together. "Victoria, Jesse, and Denia, you can take the guest room. While Sasori, Antonietta, and I will be in my room." I said. "Good?"

They all nodded.

I laid down some sleeping bags and pillows for Sasori and Antonietta. Sasori, to the right side of my bed and Antonietta to the left.

We all settled in about a minute later and I turned off the lights.

"Night, guys." I said.

"Good night." Antonietta said in reply.

"Uh, night." I felt like that was forced out of Sasori. I guess S-ranked criminals weren't used to saying "good night" to anyone.

After I while, with Antonietta fast asleep, I heard Sasori whisper something to me.

"Hey, Fallon? You still awake?" I heard from the side of my bed. I crept over onto my belly and peaked over at Sasori with his arms folded under his head, looking straight at me. I blushed in the darkness.

"Yeah, I'm still awake." I whispered in reply.

"Uh, thanks for saving my life... I, uh, guess." He winced, as if it hurt him to admit it. I took it in stride and smiled at him.

"Your welcome." I said softly. Sasori then gave me the kindest, softest smile I've ever seen as a reward. It wasn't sinister or forced. It wasn't dry or a smirk. It was so... Natural. Humane and... Natural. I felt like I could just melt and seep into the bed cushions at that exact moment.

I crept back to my spot on the bed and slept. Thinking about that one, lovely, natural, humane smile that he didn't turn into a puppet.


	4. Morning Madness

**Death: Sorry for the delay people. I was a little busy with problems of my own. Stick around! The 5th chapter is where the challenge begins! **

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"Fallon," I heard a whisper in my ear. I decided to ignore it. "Fallon, wake up." There it was again, getting very close, but I didn't stir. I was _not_ an early bird. Then I felt a light, wooden tap on my shoulder. Great, now I was awake. I started to rub my eyes.

"What?" I groaned.

"Can I ask you a favor?" Now that I was paying more attention, that voice sounded very familiar.

"Huh? Sasori, is that you?" I finished rubbing the crust out of my eyes and fluttered them open. There were three changes I noticed. One, Sasori was on the bed, hovering over me. Two, he was shirtless. Three, his face was just about two inches away from my own. A very wrong thought crossed my mind at that moment. Dare I say what I was thinking about? Ah, no. Now my head was completely full of it. Stupid teen hormones. I needed to snap out of it.

I pretended that the fact Sasori being on top of me was completely normal and tried to get my breathing under control. No use in waking everyone up with my screaming. I actually kind of enjoyed the fact that he was on top of me. Wait, what did I just say?

"Hey, Sasori. Can you grab me that silver tray over there?" I pointed to the one on the bedside while still calmly laying down submissively, hand on stomach, smiling at him softly. I thanked my mouth for not emitting an insanely loud fan girl scream to the situation. Honestly, I don't know how I do it.

"Uh, sure." I could tell that he was completely mind boggled by my calm attitude despite him being an uninvited visitor to the bed. He sat up and reached for the tray to the side of me. I took a glance at his upper body. Hmm... Tacky. Well, I'm pretty sure if you're reading this, that you all know what Sasori looks like, right? The thing that stood out to me, was the fact that he wasn't dripping poison all over my bed just now. I mentally face palmed. Right, I rinsed all the poison out from his body last night with the hose. Hey, but I wasn't complaining. After all, It did make him less of a threat to all of us. I wouldn't have to worry about dying if he accidentally stabbed me somewhere.

He handed me the silver tray. I grasped it in my hand and sat up on my pillow, my legs still under the cover of the sheets. I gripped it chokingly hard with my trembling hand. Then I slammed the sterling silver tray flat across my face. _Bong!_ That's probably what it would sound like every time your face makes contact with a silver tray. Damn it! That hurt!

"Whoo!" I exclaimed. Sasori looked at me with wide eyes. "That's better." I sighed. I finally got the thought out of my head. He looked even more confused by the second. I laid the tray down at my side on the bed. Just in case I needed to slam myself harder if the thought ever came back._ Gah, I might even need to with Sasori staring at me like that._ "You wanted a favor?" I arched my eyebrow.

"How could your soft human flesh, withstand such force?" Sasori poked my cheek. Ok, that was really aggravating. I tried not to react. He was new with the "mortal world" and all. You don't poke a girl on the cheek.

"You mean why did I slam myself with a metal tray just now?" I paused and ran a finger over the spot he poked. "I don't know. I just like hurting myself sometimes." I chuckled softly. "Sometimes I like hurting others for no reason too, but if I hurt you, you won't even feel it." Sadistic. That was the word. That was the word that I used to describe myself. "Unless, I hurt you right here." I poked at his heart and he winced. I was surprised that he didn't try to stop me earlier. He could have easily blocked my finger without even trying. So why didn't he?

"Please..." Sasori whispered as he grasped my wrist. I blushed a little as he squeezed tighter. Did I just hear him say, _please_? "Don't do that. It hurts." He let go of my wrist and I drew back. I thought he couldn't feel any pain.

"Oh, sorry." I apologized. I spooked a little when he suddenly grabbed hold of my wrist again.

"But, if you were a little softer, I could come to enjoy it." He suggested. He dipped his head a little low when he said that, so I couldn't see the exact expression on his face. Must've been embarrassing, for him to cover up like that. This guy... Is crazy. Completely... Crazy. So why did I find that so... Attractive about him. I smirked.

"Hm, maybe next time, redhead." I stood up from the bed before anymore sick thoughts could cross my mind. I grabbed some of Seth's cloths from my closet and picked out one black T-shirt with a picture of some iron chains wrapped around it. I thought it looked pretty cool.

"Here." I tossed the shirt to Sasori, who put it on immediately. It fit him quite well actually. _Tsk, Seth wears the same size clothing as a thirty five year old_. I mused.

I turned back to the closet and picked out a new pair of jeans and a white T-shirt with a depiction of a dove getting stabbed though the heart with an arrow. I then started walking towards the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" Sasori asked behind me. I turned my head.

"Um, the bathroom... To change." I knitted my eyebrows. Why was he so concerned?

"Oh." He said. I smiled and closed the door behind me.

When I got out of the bathroom, I spotted Sasori crouched down on his knees, about to poke Antonietta awake.

"Don't," I warned with a finger. His head immediately swiveled towards me. "Wake her up." Sasori's finger was just about a centimeter away from her shoulder blade when he withdrew. I sighed in relief.

"You don't know how spastic she can get in the morning." I referred to yesterday when Antonietta went crazy trying to smash his face with a broken glass bottle. Sasori backed off and stood back up.

"Come on." I gestured to Sasori and stepped out of the room. I looked to my right. Kisame and Itachi were still passed out in the hallway snoring softly together in unison. Sasori came up behind me.

"Why did you stop?" He asked in full volume. I whirled around.

"Shh!" I put my first finger to my mouth and turned back around. "Not too loud in the morning." I whispered.

When we got down stairs, I noticed that the floor was completely dry despite what happened last night. Although we still had to maneuver our way around patches of broken glass prick and plug our noses to the stench of stale alcohol. Everyone else was still asleep. Thank badness. I then led the way to the kitchen with Sasori at my heels.

When we got there, he and I began picking up all of the loose kitchen knives and various pots and pans off the floor. After that, I pulled out one of my parents' many recipe books off the kitchen shelf. Absurd since they barely spent any time around the house to actually cook some of these recipes. I flipped through its pages. I felt Sasori peek over my shoulder.

"What are you doing?" He questioned.

"Looking for something to cook for breakfast." I answered as I flipped through a few more pages. He didn't reply. After a while, I finally found a recipe that I could actually cook. I stopped the page on _blueberry pancakes_. I frowned at the directions. I'm going to need more help if I ever expect to make enough for ten serial killers and five hungry friends. I turned to Sasori.

"Hey, can you go back upstairs and wake Victoria, Jesse, Denia, and Antonietta for me?" I asked. He made a face.

"I thought you said Antonietta would be in spastic mode?"

"Exactly. That's why you're going to be the one to wake her up." I said. He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh," I opened up a random kitchen cabinet and pulled out a two and a half foot metal tray then handed it to Sasori. "Just in case any of them decide to go haywire." With that, he ventured bravely upstairs to the dangers of waking up my friends.

Within a few minutes, I managed to get out all of the cooking materials and ingredients for the blueberry pancakes. Just as I was picking up a large iron pan, I heard an ear piercing, mind blowing, heart stopping scream that could only belong to, Jesse. God, that girl was loud. Hate to hear that on speaker. I dropped the iron pan smack hard on my foot.

"Shit!" I mumbled as I was forced to hop on one foot. _What the hell was he doing up there?_ I retrieved the pan from the floor, hastily placed it on the counter, and raced back up stairs.

I got up the steps as fast as I could. When I reached the top, I heard a metallic _clang_ coming from the guest room. Then another _clang, clang, CLANG! _Was there sword fighting going on in there? I sprinted over and yanked open the door. I regretted it when I _did_ hear Jesse's voice on full blast in the left hand corner of the room. I then swiveled my eye to the source of all the annoying metallic clanging. It was emitting from Victoria who was running rampage all around the room, swinging my dad's dented golf club like an oversized axe at Sasori holding the tray up like it was a shield. The tray was severely dented from being used as a meek defense from Victoria who had on the face of a mad killer. Out of the chaos, I spotted Denia standing straight up on top of the bed, spouting orders to Victoria.

"Go for the heart! The heart!" She shouted to Victoria, who made another punch sized dent in Sasori's tray. That was an expensive tray!

"What the hell is going on here?" I yelled over Jesse. Although she kept on emitting her eardrum shattering cacophony of a voice throughout the household. Sasori took notice of my voice and risked a glance.

"Help me!" He said through gritted teeth as he dodged a "would have been" fatal blow to the neck. Curtesy of the one and only, Victoria.

"Let me hit you, you no good peeper!" Victoria spat at Sasori. Peeper? Why would she call him that? I quickly ran over and stepped between them. I dodged an iron swing to the head.

"Whoa, Victoria! What are you doing?" I dodged a few more blows.

"What does it look like?" She swung at Sasori behind me. Right when the club came three inches from his neck, I turned towards it and blocked it with my hand, gripping it tight between my clasped fingers.

"That's enough!" I yanked the club out of her hand, while she looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"Tell me what he did first, and I'll let you hit him all you want." I offered. Victoria sighed and crossed her arms.

"What?" Sasori objected.

"Fine." She huffed. She then told me how when Jesse was taking a shower in the morning, while she and Denia were fast asleep, that Sasori came in and peeked into the bathroom. Victoria went on about how Jesse screamed so loud that shook her and Denia awake and saw him peeking at her in the shower.

I then turned to Sasori.

"Do you have anything to say before I let these guys crush you to splinters?" I started handing the club to Victoria who grinned with her palm out stretched.

"I didn't know she was in the shower, honest! I just heard a noise." He pleaded.

"Oh really?" Victoria growled from behind me.

I hesitated. Did he really even know that Jesse was in the shower in the first place? I thought back to his world where the showers there didn't look anything like the showers in the mortal world. I shrugged my shoulders. Eh, he should learn.

"Everyone gets free hits at him until we get downstairs." I announced. What? Can't disappoint my pack members. All three of them put on a sinister grin. Even Jesse stopped screaming and started to chuckle. I glanced at them then at Sasori.

"You should run now." I suggested. With that, he sprinted out of the room for downstairs with three girls out for blood on his trail. I sighed at the irony and walked out of the room. I turned to see Antonietta rubbing her eyes and walking sluggishly towards the steps. I couldn't believe that she'd just woken up after all that screaming that Jesse did. I couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous.

"Hey, Antonietta!" I waved to her. She turned her head groggily.

"Oh, hey Fallon." I almost couldn't hear her. I jogged over next to her.

"Do you mind helping me cook some blueberry pancakes for the Akatsuki?" I asked.

"Oh not at all." Antonietta spoke gingerly as she rubbed her eye. "How many batches?"

"Oh, about... Maybe ten." I shrugged my shoulders. She completely froze.

"Ten? Are you crazy?" She whipped around with her eyes bulging from their sockets.

"Maybe. You should know that by now."

When we got downstairs, it was chaos once again. Some of the Akatsuki were already awake. Sasori was running around the whole entire house with Victoria still close behind on his tail. Denia apparently found her baseball bat and starting whacking Hidan in his personal parts via the living room. Lastly, I spotted Jesse jumping up and down the couches with Tobi. I face palmed. I was going to have to use my vocal cords again wasn't I.

"GUYS!" I yelled in such a loud, deep voice that they all froze and turned. "Do you want breakfast or not?" I snarled. They all nodded. "Then settle down and... STOP TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER!" I just had to shout that. Antonietta winced and covered her ears. I sighed.

"Sasori, Tobi, Hidan. Go wake the others." I ordered. "Antonietta, Victoria, Jesse, Denia and I will be in the kitchen." I pointed. "Now get out of my sight!" I yelled to them. They all scattered. Sasori took the basement, Tobi scrambled towards Zetsu, and Hidan raced upstairs.

. . .

"You guys like the pancakes?" I asked the Akatsuki. We had just all finished ten batches of pancakes for breakfast in under ten minutes. They all nodded in unison. Well, except for Sasori, who just sat contently with arms folded in his seat. Kisame sat back patting his stomach. Next to him Itachi sat up trying to hide his smiling under his propped up arms. Pein, Konan, and Kakazu just leaned back against the chairs.

"Fuck yeah!" I heard from Hidan.

"Tobi, like pancakes." Tobi squealed with glee.

"It was really good. **You idiot, don't give them credit.** I'm sorry! **Shut it.**" Zetsu, well at least White Zetsu complimented.

"You should make more, hmm." Deidara smiled. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Victoria blush a little. That was a first. I clamped my hands together.

"Alright, I'm going to get the van ready." I got up and snatched the keys off the kitchen counter.

"Wait, Fallon. Their's not enough room to fit all fifteen of us, the van only has twelve seats." Antonietta reminded me just as I was about to get out through the garage door.

"So... We'll take the SUV." I shrugged. "No biggie."

"Yeah, but who's going to be where?" Victoria questioned. I thought for a second.

"Ok, I'll be in the SUV with Sasori, Itachi, and Antonietta while you three and the rest of the Akatsuki can take the van." I tossed the van keys to Victoria and grabbed the keys to my SUV on a small table. Before I left, I spotted the supplies for my challenge sitting next to the coat closet.

When Victoria, Denia, and Jesse loaded the all of the supplies and rest of the Akatsuki into the silver van, I entered the SUV with Antonietta in the seat beside me, along with Sasori and Itachi in the back. I rolled down the window as Victoria did the same.

"Just follow us, ok?" I said. Then Denia poked her head out from behind Victoria's. Victoria, looking slightly agitated at the face pressing against the back of her head.

"Wait, where exactly are we going?" She asked.

"The range." I answered. With that, I started the engine, pulled out of the garage and onto the road with the silver van behind us. This is going to be one fun challenge.

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**Death: Lately, Dark and I have been thinking about writing another fanfic called Akatsuki Interviews. So, if you have questions for any of the Akatsuki, please feel free to tell us on a review. We can even include your username in the story (yeah that's right. you'll get a chance to become apart of your fanfic!). Just tell us if you do or do not want that. We can also change your name into an element. For example, Storm, Hurricane, Fire, Sadness, anything you want! Just be sure to post everything on the review. If you are a user, we will PM you to tell you if it is approved or not. Remember, I'm still writing this fanfic, so it might take a while till I get a chance to write the interviews! **


	5. Hunting, is a Girl's Sport

**Death: Sorry it took so long to write. Dark and I went on a little vacation for 2 days. Hope you like it! Stick around for the next chapter! **

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Five minutes into a dead silent drive and I already began to notice some major changes in her. Antonietta was slumped down in her seat, doing double takes to the back then later blushing like a red lava lamp. She was fidgeting with her hands so much that I thought her nails were going to come off. I decided to make something happen right there.

"Hey, guys. Want to listen to the radio?" I asked them.

"Uh, um, o-ok." Antonietta stuttered.

"Sure." Itachi answered. Upon hearing his voice, Antonietta turned beet red once again. I flicked on the radio. Currently playing was "Sexy and I Know it" by LMFAO. I was grateful it wasn't "You Don't Know You're Beautiful" by One Direction. That song was all over the place right now. Darn right I was sick of it! I felt Sasori and Itachi both knit their eyebrows behind me. Although they didn't argue, I knew they were kind of new to _teen music_.

I took the time to communicate a little with Antonietta. _You have a crush on Itachi don't you? _I synced with one hand on the wheel. She frowned while still blushing. _No I don't!_ She made with her fingers. _Liar. _I I saw her grin ear to ear. _But I know you have a crush on Sasori._ Antonietta made all the symbols, slow and clear as day with that sentence. I narrowed my eyes. She giggled. Sasori seemed to take notice of our wacky hand play that we were currently going back and forth at.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"Oh, nothing." Antonietta replied as she wave her hand.

Ten minutes later, we arrived at the range. It was a pretty big place. A few yards of parking space and a small wooden shop stood in front, and partially in the hundreds of acres of hunting ground with several small dirt trails. It was a privately owned facility my parents had bought for me on my fifteenth birthday, so only friends and family were even allowed. That, and it wasn't listed in any GPS or map. You'd have to get the directions from us. Since all of my relatives were all so strangely sensitive about hunting and the idea of slaughter, the range normally only had me (and a few of my friends) for company. Hm, wonder why.

I parked in the deserted lot with the van next to us. There was no one around in sight. Good, I didn't want them to see ten people all with funky looking hair styles and... Uh... Other things on their body, and run off screaming to the police. I turned off the engine and slipped the keys into my pocket.

"We're here." I announced and pushed the car door open. We all got out of the car and looked around. This was about as natural as you could get in America. One grey road leading in with no traffic or car horn in sight. Just the chirping of peaceful birds (that I now wanted for lunch) the rustle of green grass against the breeze, and summer's warm heat all around... Oh who am I kidding, this place was depressing! Stupid summer heat, stupid birds that I wanted to shoot an arrow through the chest at, stupid, stupid, STUPID!

I clenched my teeth in anger and marched over to the silver van. Victoria unlocked the van, got out and started unloading the Akatsuki one by one.

"Alright, serial killers, this is it." She announced as she slid the door open. They all moaned and filed out. I opened the trunk of the van, took out my bow, and slung my quiver stocked with arrows across and over my back. The Akatsuki all silently lined up behind me with Pein in front. I should explain what was exactly in the trunk. There were several traditional bows, quivers, and arrows all stacked up in bags inside the trunk. Ten bows (not counting mine that I just took out), ten quivers, and ten packs of thirty arrows each. I turned to them and picked up another random bow from the trunk.

"Ok, whoever knows how to shoot an arrow and use a bow, step forth." Sasori, Itachi, Hidan, Konan, and Tobi (surprisingly) stepped forth. I tossed one bow to each of them along with a quiver and a pack of arrows.

"What's this for?" Konan asked. By the way, she wasn't where the blue dress anymore (it had been so badly damaged that I actually had to ship it to the tailor and have him poke a few needles and thread some stitches into it. She was currently wearing jeans and a sky blue shirt that read "I'm with, Stupid" in black bold print and an arrow pointing to her left (since I'm in front of her, the right). The arrow was pointing at Tobi to her left. I made a slight chuckle at the irony.

"The challenge." I answered and then turned to the rest of the Akatsuki. "This is the first challenge... Hunting. Konan, Sasori, Itachi, Hidan, and Tobi will be the Hunters since everyone else doesn't know how to work a simple bow." I glared at the rest of the Akatsuki. "The rest of you, that's Pein, Deidara, Kisame, Kakazu and Zetsu, will be Dispatchers. Dispatchers collect and kill, if not killed already, the shot carcasses of the hunters. You will be doing this challenge in teams each with a Hunter and Dispatcher. The teams are... Pein and Konan, Sasori and Deidara, Itachi and Kisame, Hidan and Kakazu, and Tobi and Zetsu." I turned to the trunk and brought out five, foot long dispatching knives and tossed them with sheath on to the new Dispatchers. "Any questions?" I asked. Deidara raised his hand. I gestured for him to proceed.

"Where are we going to be hunting, yeah?" He asked. I grinned as I pulled out the extra bows, packs, and quivers from the van trunk and handed one of each to Victoria, Antonietta, Jesse, and Denia.

"In there." I pointed to the land. After they all got a full look at the place, I closed the trunk of the van and turned my attention towards the shop, the only entrance to the place. "Follow me to the challenge." I gestured as we all made our way to the entrance.

I opened the door and got inside. It was a small hunting and fishing supply shop, run by an old friend of my parents. Poles, lines, tackle, and baits to the right of the shop, and hunting supplies to the left. I turned to the old man reading a news paper at the counter.

"Good morning, Mr. Berks." I forced a smile. "Just taking a few of my friends hunting."

"You too, dear. Run along now." Mr. Berks made a _scat_ kind of gesture without even looking up. Tsk, elders. So passive. I snatched five folded maps of the range and a silver whistle off the store counter and went out the exit of the shop with my friends and the Akatsuki following my lead.

When we got some distance between us and the shop, I stopped and turned to them.

"Alright, let me further explain this." I paused and looked around. "This challenge will be organized in points. That means that depending on what you kill, you get points. For example, a stag is worth twenty five points while a rabbit is worth five points. The animals and their point values are listed in here along with the map of the range." I lifted the maps in my hand and tossed them to each team. "The team with the most points will be the winners."

"Wait, do the winners get a prize?" Pein interrupted.

"Money?" Kakazu added. I thought for a moment. I normally don't like doing things without a prize and the Akatsuki, I'll bet, are the same.

"Yes, actually. There is a prize, but no, it's not money." I paused. Kakazu looked completely crushed. "The team that wins the challenge gets to choose a location in this world which we all will go to." They didn't know what I was talking about. I sighed. "The winner gets to choose a field trip."

"FEILD TRIP!" Jesse squealed at the top of her lungs and started jumping for joy along with Tobi at her side. The rest of the Akatsuki all stared at her and Tobi now doing cartwheels in the grass meadows. Yeah, she's the _girl_ version of Tobi.

"Ok... Moving on. The rules are simple. No stealing of another teams carcass, no interaction or alliances with other teams, and no contact what so ever with other teams. You'll start when I blow this whistle." I held up the silver whistle that I had snatched of the store counter. "The current time is ten o'clock a.m. The challenge will end at four o'clock pm."

"Wait. Why the hell do you guys have bows and arrows?" Hidan pointed.

"Ah, yes. I almost forgot about that one." I paused to glance at Victoria, Antonietta, Jesse and Denia now at my sides. "We will be hunting in the range with you, but we will not be competing. However, we do have some function." I lifted a finger. "Consider us as a cheat sheet. We'll be scattered randomly around the range, but if you are lucky enough to find one of us and tag us _gently_ we can tell you anything you want to know and give you an edge in the game. Each with different things. If you tag Victoria or Jesse, they can tell you where animals were captured in hidden traps. Antonietta and Denia will tell you where secret weapons are located. If you catch me, I can tell you precisely where all the secret hotspots are in this area." I answered.

"I have a question." Tobi raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"What are you going to do with all those carcasses that we bring back?" That was actually a very question he asked me. I was almost taken aback.

"We'll be taking the carcasses to the butcher to chop up, and take the best parts for dinner. The rest we'll be donating to charity." They all stared at me like I was some kind of alien. "What? I don't want to let good meat waste." I crossed my arms. "Alright." I lifted the whistle to my mouth. "On your mark... Get set... Go!" I blew the silver whistle. Instantly the Akatsuki dashed off in pairs with lightning speed deep into the green shadows of the range.

My friends and I stood staring at the entrance to the forest for a while, until Victoria spoke.

"By the way, Fallon. How the hell are we going to out run them? We'll be caught in an instant because of their supernatural speed. Neither of us are very fast either." She pointed out.

"I know that. That's why I sent Antonietta to get a special package." I said. I turned to Antonietta. "Got the package?" I asked her. She nodded and brought out five shoe boxes from behind her back. She set them down on the grass and opened one box lid. We all knelt down to see.

They were pitch black in color except for the laces and midsoles which were left bleach white. It was a simple design, nothing too fancy to behold.

"What are they?" Denia asked.

"They're called Fleet Fliers. A new and rare shoe on the market. Very hard to get and developed by a famous group of scientists. These shoes are guaranteed to make you run ten times fast than your normal speed." Antonietta advertised.

"What's the secret?" Victoria questioned. Antonietta took one shoe from the box and pointed to the midsole.

"Extra concentrated springs!" She exclaimed. We all gave her a questioning look. "The springs in here are wined up so bad that they make you run like crazy. That, and they're extra light. You won't even feel the weight of the whole shoe!" She explained further.

With that, we all started putting the shoes on.

"Whoa! You can sure feel those springs." Denia commented. She was the first one done putting on hers. I finished putting mine on.

"Wow, Denia's right. I feel faster already." I added. The other three nodded as they finished putting on theirs.

"Alright guys, let's start hunting. I don't trust them with knowing how to choose a good carcass. Try not to let any of them catch you." I stated. With that, we all dashed off into the woods.

These shoes were no joke. They were wicked fast. The entire forest seemed such a blur that I had it jog to get my vision straight. Even then, I felt like I was going twenty miles an hour. When I felt like I had got enough distance from the starting point, I started to walk in search of prey to hunt.

By exactly twelve o'clock, I had a whole bounty full of hunted animals (don't worry hippies, they're not endangered). I carried one quail, four doves, two rabbits, and a robin that I shot just for the heck of it (but I was definitely looking forward to cooking it for dinner) slug over my shoulder in a random brown, cloth bag that I had dug up a while ago. I was carful to avoid going after big game like deer and goat (leave that to the rest of the Akatsuki to drag around in the dirt) that I could not carry. I didn't exactly wanted to be helpful if any of them actually found me either.

An hour later passed of _not_ seeing any Akatsuki members. I was so bored that I started shooting at some of the foliage. Strange, I thought that serial killers would seem to stand out in a hundred acre hunting range. I mean, come on, it's only a hundred acres. Surly a team would have found me by now, but no, not a single one. Call me crazy, but by know, I started looking for them.

It had only been ten minutes of suicidal searching, when I hear a twig snap against the forest floor just about 15 yards behind me. Bingo. I found a team. Just by the faint whiff of carved wood and detonating clay on the wind, I could tell who it was. Sasori and Deidara. Yes! Finally a chance to try out these new Fleet Fliers that I've been holding back on for the sake of energy. They won't even see it coming.

In one capricious moment, I notched two arrows, whirled around, and fired at two figures with red and blond hair, almost completely hidden in the underbrush. I saw Sasori barley dodge my arrow as it came whizzing past his cheek. Astonishment, was his expression. Not-so- lucky, Deidara shielded his head and bent down just about an inch. The arrow missed a direct hit to his head, but caught the tag of his yellow (how am I suppose to know the exact details of the person I'm shooting at?) T-shirt, pinning him tight against a nearby tree by the back. _One down, one to go._ I mused. Not wasting another second, I turned back around and sprinted off at top speed in the opposite direction. I felt the wind whizzing passed my ears, the small cloud of dirt behind each step that I took, and saw the entire forest as blur.

"What the..." I heard Sasori comment at my speed.

"Danna! Help me!" I heard Deidara squealed.

"Forget it! I'll come back for you later before we lose her." With that, Sasori took off on my trail of dust that I left behind.

Five minutes of going at a top speed of fifty miles per hour takes a lot out of a girl. I couldn't keep up at this speed for much longer. My energy was fading fast. I couldn't help but slow down just some ten miles per hour. I started panting. Then I heard an alarming change of speed in my pursuer. Sasori was gaining on me and was now just six feet away from my turned back, hand outstretched. Damn these ninjas! An idea sparked into my mind. _If I was going to go down, I was going to go down fighting._ Likewise, I let him catch up to me. Five feet, four feet, three feet, I let the number drop until _one_ foot. Quick as lightning, I sharply skidded to a halt, turned halfway around (right shoulder facing him), and body slammed him full force at his open chest. My force combined with the speed he was running at, sent him ricocheting five feet away onto the forest floor. _Crash! _Just as he hit the dirt, his arm detached itself from his shoulder socket and flew off into a nearby bramble. Wow. I put in enough force to make his arm fly off.

I walked over as he lay in a heap on the forest floor. I crossed my arms and towered over him as he just lay there with those piercing eyes spearing mine through. I sighed.

"Alright. What do you want?" I asked. He knit his eyebrows.

"Why didn't you just run away when you slammed me?" He countered my question.

"Hey, I'm not a runner. Plus, you caught me. I respect that." I smirked. I turned and walked towards the bramble where Sasori's right arm lay limp. I felt his gaze follow me as I snatched it off the ground. I knelt down at his side and reconnected it to his body.

"Sorry about your arm." I apologized as I helped him up by the hand.

"It's fine." He replied. Sasori looked at me with a puzzled expression as I plucked a few leaves from his red hair. I was surprised at it's texture. It felt like real, normal hair. Not the slightest feel of wire or plastic. I retracted my hand.

"Um, t-thanks." He stuttered. I smiled at him softly. To my surprise, he mimicked my soft expression with his own genuine, humane smile.

"You know, you have a beautiful smile," The words nonchalantly slipped out of my mouth. Shoot! I looked away in humiliation.

"I would say the same for you." He praised. Did he just say that... To me? I turned my head back around to see if those glowing words actually came from his mouth. They did. One hundred percent, did. Sasori stood there still as a statue, his gaze locked onto me. I tried to hide the redness on my face.

"Thanks t-that means a l-lot." Now it was my turn to trip over my own words.

A few seconds after, I heard a rustle between two scrawny bushes. We both whipped our heads towards the sound.

"Sasori? Sasori, my man? Are you there? Did you catch her yet, hmm?" Deidara's voice came from the bush. In a flash, Sasori grasped my wrist in a chocking grip.

"Come on out, brat. She won't bite." Sasori announced to the foliage. What was I? Captive now? I was totally pissed, but I didn't struggle. I didn't want his hand to let go of mine.

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**Death: Left you with a little cliffhanger there. Next chapter, we'll announce the winners! **


	6. Konan Wants to go Dancing

**Death: So sorry for the wait loyal fans. Just busy with all of my current running stories. Dark and I are having a little bit of a writers block with the next chapter, so in the meanwhile, check out our other in-prgress stories! **

* * *

"Well..." I growled. "What's your question already?" I almost shouted at them. We were still in the same spot, same clearing, but they decided to do a little staring contest with me. It was completely aggravating. Sizing me up, staring me down (well, I was about the same height as Sasori though), and not spouting a single word. I wanted to punch them both in their faces, but being in a high society, I learned some manners. Finally, Deidara's eyes seemed to blink back into reality.

"Oh, my man here wanted to ask you if you liked h-" Deidara began.

"Not another word, brat." Sasori shot him the death glare. "Or I'll pluck out every single strand of that blond hair you hold so dear." Deidara covered his mouth immediately, but the damage was done. I knew exactly what Deidara was talking about. Sasori liked me. He actually _liked_... _Me_. What I was feeling right now was beyond words. It involved... Happiness. Something I would never dare say out loud anymore. I was so embarrassed that I felt like I could just seep into the ground like a weightless ghost, or soar high into the sky like a free bird in flight. There was another word that hadn't shown itself in my dictionary for quite some time now. I knew the exact definition, just no one to apply it too... Until now.

"I'm not allowed to answer a question like that during a challenge. That, and I don't like to do it in front of other people." I spoke in monotone as I glared at Deidara. I saw a drop of sweat on his face. I shot a short glance at Sasori. Puppet's couldn't blush, but I bet he sure was inside. The rattling I kept on hearing was definitely coming from him. I turned back to Deidara.

"You want to know were a good hot spot is or not?" I narrowed my eyes. He flinched at my intensity, then nodded.

"Hand me your map." I outstretched my right hand to him. Deidara shook his from side to side.

"Danna has it." He pointed to Sasori. I turned to him. With haste, he pulled out a folded map from his front pocket. I was astonished by how much Sasori's hand was shaking as he plopped the map onto my hand. I withdrew and unfolded it. I was fully aware of both their eyes on me as I pulled a black ink pen from my pocket, marked three spots on the map, and handed it back to them. I sighed and looked at my watch. Wow, it was 3:00 already?

"You guys better hurry with those hot spots I gave you. It's only one hour before the challenge is over. I'm gonna head back to the starting point. Good luck." With that, I sprinted off towards the direction of the range entrance.

"Oh, good you guys are all here." I said. Victoria, Jesse, and Antonietta were sitting crisscross down on the grass meadow where we had last took off for the challenge. They too had plump, cloth bags full of fresh kill at each of their sides. I walked over to them and plopped my own bag down on the grass.

"Well it's about time you showed up." Victoria groaned.

"Fallonie!" Jesse squealed.

"Yeah, we were just about to start the carcass choosing without you." Antonietta added.

"Sorry, I kinda got caught." I rubbed the back of my neck. I joined their little pre-K circle by sitting next to Victoria and Antonietta, Jesse across from me.

"Where's Denia, anyway?" I asked them. Right on cue, I heard Denia nonchalantly stumble out into the sunlight to join us. She looked like she just drank ten bottles of horrifically strong alcohol. I spotted a line of drool leaking down to her chin, a drunken smile across her face, and her eyes were nearly closed. In her walk she swayed unsteadily side to side with her shoulders hunched over, and she was mumbling something like 'what a challenge'.

"Denia, what happened to you?!" Antonietta asked with all concern.

"Denny?" Jesse peeped.

"Tsk, you look you've just got back from a wild night club." Victoria smirked and crossed her arms.

"I'm with Victoria. You look happy enough to faint." I added.

"Bet she's been smooching with Hidan under a mistletoe tree." Victoria whispered to me. Denia stumbled over and slumped down on the ground in front of us. Now that I got a better look at her lips, I realized that the balm on her was smudged and surprisingly still wet. She also had one of those love sick expressions on her face, and you only get those right after a really good kiss. In fact, the more I looked at her, the more I was starting to believe Victoria's wild prediction.

"Hey, Denia, snap out of it will yah? It's creeping me out." I shook her shoulder. She ignored me and just smiled lazily with her chin propped up by her arm. Convinced that she was going to stay like that for the next ten minutes, I just shrugged and turned back to the rest of my friends.

"Well, she's out of it." I stated.

"For how long?" Antonietta cocked her head.

"Eh, how I'm I suppose to know. I don't get lovesick." I shrugged.

"You've never even loved in the first place, Fallon." Victoria chuckled.

"True." I looked up for no reason.

"Oh, I beg a differ, Victoria." Antonietta objected. "You should have been in the SUV with us. She was practically day dreaming the whole way about Sasori." She elbowed my side.

"If I remember correctly, it was _you_ who was doing double takes to the back seat at Itachi and then blushing like a red tomato next to me." I poked her side.

"Man, you guys are really losing it!" Victoria laughed. We all stared at her.

"Well, what about you and Deidara?" I mocked. Victoria froze in mid-laugh. "I'm sure were just itching in the driver's seat."

"Not, another, word." She glared at me. I chuckled hesitantly.

"Ok, on with the carcass choosing." I changed the subject.

We all laid out our kills. Jesse's specialty was not hunting, or fishing, it was foraging. Her talents lied in tracking and gathering. Likewise, she never brought any impressive carcasses to the dinner table, but rather delectable berries, exotic eggs, and sometimes even syrup! You just never know what that girl could find in the wilderness. She had out in front of her three types of bird's nest, one (a cardinals') had five eggs in it, the second (a bluejays') that had four eggs in it, and the third (a mocking birds') had just two eggs in it. Beside her little egg collection she brought out one large jar of maple syrup and a whole basket of wild black blackberries!

"Whoa, Jesse. That's quite the haul you got there!" I complemented.

"Jesse, how much sap did you get from that tree?!" Victoria gasped. Jesse just giggled at our stunned faces.

"That's a secret." Jesse whispered.

I recovered from my temporary astonishment and looked over at Antonietta's haul. Her specialty was hunting, like me, although we went for completely different game. She was more focused in poaching poultry than bigger game. Her favorite kind of prey were song birds. Any kind of buzzard really. Basically, if it had feathers, it was going to die (even if it was a three foot tall mutant turkey). Antonietta finished laying out all her kill. She had out two plump cardinals, four scrawny robins (though they were always skinny to begin with), three blue jays, two blue birds, and finally... Seven white doves, all of their feathers stained with blood slowly gushing from the chest. I chuckled at the irony.

"You know, Antonietta. I've never seen you so passionate about the killing of doves before. Something wrong?" I asked. She stared directly into my eye with that psychotic grin on her face.

"I was just killing them for what they represented." She crooned. "That, and I couldn't help but be inspired by that lovely shirt that you're currently wearing." She pointed. I glanced down at my chest to see the depiction of a dove getting stabbed through the chest with an arrow. Oh... That. I smiled lightly and turned my attention towards Victoria.

Her specialty was hunting fish, waterfowl, and basically anything that lived in water. Her idea of 'fishing' was to spear and arrow through it, not hook it by the mouth with a rod. Likewise, her bag was the only one soaking wet with river water. Victoria didn't exactly _lay_ out her kill, she just tipped the bag upside down and dumped her haul onto the ground for us to see. Ah well, we'll just have to make sure to clean her meat _very_ well. She began spreading out the heap so we could all get a better look. Her watery kill consisted of three rainbow trout (each with a small hole through their ribs), one male duck, four toads (they're actually quite delicious), two bass, and two whole, six inch jar full of live, swimming minnows. There were about a hundred of them in each jar, their shimmering silver scales pressing against the glass so much that I almost went blind when the sun blasted a surprise ray at the jar. If fish could scream, I would have been howling on the ground in pain from the noise. They looked so pitiful in there, all live and crammed together with almost no room to swim or breath. It was down right cruel... To others.

"Poor fishies..." Jesse sniffled and pretended to wipe a tear from her eye. Tsk, she'll get over it when she eats them for dinner. Chili fried minnows tasted like well salted chips. Victoria turned to me with that piercing stare again. Man, she was good at those!

"Well, Fallon. Let's see what you've got." She gestured to my own cloth bag. I smirked and gladly laid out my kill. I had the quail, four doves, two rabbits, and the robin that I've shot previously. Victoria scrunched her nose at the pile in distaste.

"What, no two hundred pound deer today?" She smirked. My hunting specialty (if you haven't guessed already) was big game. Deer, elk, moose, caribou, and just about anything that was above three feet was considered my turf. Since this time was a challenge (I'd have to keep running) I decided to let the Akatsuki do that work for me. There was no way I could drag a two hundred pound deer through the woods without getting caught, and I _hate_ getting caught. So, I've decided to go small. I pulled out the last carcass from my cloth bag slowly, just to add a little suspense.

"Whoa! Fallon, is that a _baby_ deer?" Antonietta gasped.

"Yep." I nodded to the little, three foot long fawn sprawled out on it's side with a bloody arrow wound to the rib. It was stunning with it's ginger colored coat and snow white speckles on it's back. It felt like an honor to shoot such a beauty of an animal.

"Even though it's little, it's still considered game, Victoria." I said to her. She smirked and crossed her arms.

"I was just joking you know." She bluffed. _Sure she was._

"Wow, where'd you find that?" Denia had finally snapped out it and asked me. We all stared at her with wide eyes. She knit her eyebrows unknowingly.

"What? Why are you guys all staring at me like that?" She asked.

"You don't remember?" I arched my eyebrow. She shook her head. Victoria sighed. She was already getting impatient.

"Never mind already." She almost growled. "What've you got?"

Denia's specialty were hunting ground animals. Weasels, rabbits, raccoons, foxes, squirrels, and etc. The only thing that she shoots that isn't a ground dweller were bats on special night hunts. She also laid out her kill. I spotted only two weasels and three squirrels in her haul. It was down right pitiful compared to what the rest of us had. We all gave her a look like,_ was that all you got?_ She sighed in disappointment.

"Yeah. I could barley catch anything with the Akatsuki making such a ruckus in the woods. Scared all ground animals away." Denia admitted. "Plus, it was like they were_ all _chasing me in the beginning. I barley had any time to hunt." Ah... So that's why nobody was showing up in my territory. They were all after Denia.

"Did you get caught at all?" I asked.

"Yeah. Four times." She answered while dipping her head low to hide the humiliation that she felt.

"Four times?!" Victoria scoffed. "That's almost all the teams!"

"By who?" Antonietta questioned.

"Pein and Konan, Hidan and Kakazu, and Itachi and Kisame." She answered.

"Wait, who caught you twice?" I tossed another question at her.

"Hidan." She sighed and hung her head in shame. Antonietta patted her on the back.

"Don't worry. It's not too big of a deal." She assured.

"I guess." Denia shifted her shoulders. "So how many times did you guys get caught?" She perked up.

"Once." I answered.

"Twice." Victoria grumbled.

"Once." Jesse chided.

"Um... I never actually got... Caught." Antonietta tried to whisper, but we all heard it loud and clear.

"What?! You never got caught?" I almost shouted. She shook her head.

"Liar!" Victoria objected.

"No, no. It's true!" She waved her hands innocently. "I was all the way up in the trees, hunting birds. The only ones who passed me by were Sasori and Deidara, but they were on the ground and didn't even bother to look up at me. They were too busy stalking Fallon." I whipped my head around to her.

"What?! You were there and you didn't even bother to help me?!" I yelled. I wasn't totally pissed, I just did it for the sake of yelling. Antonietta shivered.

"W-Well, it didn't look like you needed much help." She stammered. "It looked like you were creaming them from above. Plus, I knew I couldn't possibly shoot an arrow at your beloved Sasori." She teased at the end. Ok, _now_ I was pissed. I was just about to notch an arrow and shoot it at her butt when my watch's minute hand aligned with the number twelve. I looked closer and found that the hour hand was on four. The challenge was over.

"Well, look at the time. It's four o'clock already." I said as I stood up and brushed the dirt off my clothing. "Pack it up guys. I'm gonna blow the whistle." I reached into my front pocket and took out the silver whistle. I put my lips to the mouth piece and blew as hard as I could. Apparently, that was way too hard. _PHEEEEEEEWWWW! _The sound rang for miles in the woods. Heck, it rang for miles in my ear! My poor, poor, ear! Shoot, that thing was loud! If the Akatsuki couldn't hear this, then they were officially deaf.

"Ow...!" Victoria grumbled. I took a glance back at them. My friends were all crouched down on there knees with their fingers shoved up deep into their ears, all wincing in pain.

"Ehe, sorry guys." I apologized.

"Your lungs are too strong!" Antonietta complained.

"I'm gonna trash that whistle." Denia threatened.

"Bad whistle!" Jesse scolded the silver thing. It was loud, but it was a pretty good whistle. I decided to keep it and slipped it back into my pocket.

A few minutes later after we all put our kill back into our bags, the Akatsuki showed up. First to show themselves were Sasori and Deidara. Deidara happily carrying a plump cloth bag behind Sasori. I nodded to them. A few moments later, all of the Akatsuki filed out of the woods in good order.

. . .

"And the winners are... Pein and Konan!" I announced. My friends, the Akatsuki and I have just recently finished scoring the challenge. We were all still standing in the meadow, our bags of kills all gathered to the right of the area. You can imagine what the others shot. I'll only say that Kakazu and Hidan were the only team dumb enough to bring down a two hundred pound stag and drag it all the way here.

"So, as I said. The prize is that you can pick any destination you would like to visit in this world. Have you decided yet?" I asked them. Pein and Konan just shook their heads. I sighed.

"Alright, we'll decide at home. For now, everybody grab your kills and head to the van." I announced once more.

With a little help from the Akatsuki, we managed to get all of the cloth bags into the van. As for the deer, I took the responsibility of carrying it in my SUV (since there was no more room left in the silver van, and I wanted my SUV to smell... Bloody). I buckled my seatbelt and pulled out of the parking lot.

"God, that deer reeks!" Antonietta plugged her nose.

"Of what?" I asked as I continued on out of the range with the silver van close behind.

"Blood." She answered.

"Tsk, Antonietta, that's why I brought it in the SUV in the first place."

"You wanted your vehicle to smell like blood?" Itachi questioned in that deep rumble of a voice he has. I bet Sasori was thinking the same thing, but I didn't here a peep out of him.

"Yeah, it's typical for someone like her." Antonietta blushed as she turned her head to the back seat. I felt Itachi raise an eyebrow at me.

"What, girls can't like blood and guts?" I chuckled.

"Not many." Sasori commented. I didn't really know wether to be angry or not, so I just ignored and continued on the road.

After a short visit to the butchery and later the charity, we were heading back home for our dinner. I will never forget both the butcher's and the whole charity's face when they saw the how much carcasses we dumped on their doorstep. Hilarious!

I opened the garage with a click of a remote button and parked in the corner. I then watched as the silver van do the same. I unlocked the car, unbuckled my seatbelt, and jumped out with Antonietta, Sasori, and Itachi close behind. I opened the back trunk to see the best organs of the deer in tacked in tin foil, and rich with blood partially leaking out of the edge of the metallic foil. I pulled out exactly four random plastic bags from my front pocket and aired them out. I handed each of them one.

"What are these for?" Sasori asked.

"For helping." I answered in the same leveled tone. He seemed to be taken aback by my tone of voice (even though it had no tone). _Yeah, you're not the only one who can pull off a monotone, buddy._ I mused. Then I picked a few packets of tin foil and started placing them into the bag. Antonietta quickly followed. Then Sasori, and lastly, Itachi did the same.

. . .

"Wow, Fallon. This deer was delicious!" Konan licked her lips. We all leaned back in our chairs with plump stomachs and closed eyes. We had all just finished our lovely feast of hunted kill and were all happily full. Well, almost all of us. Sasori decided to stay in my room for dinner to catch a wink or two.

"Thanks." I replied. After a while of chitchat across the table, we all turned to Konan and Pein.

"So, what location are you guys picking?" Antonietta questioned.

"Yeah, tell us!" Denia added. I reached down on the floor to pick up a_ current events_ magazine and threw it across the dinning table to Konan. Momentarily startled, she caught it just as it was about to hit her in the face. She then began filing through the pages. Her eyes widened at her 3rd flip.

"Ooh! How about this one?" She asked excitedly. She then turned the face of a page of the magazine towards me. Thank badness I was farsighted. I read the cursive, bold print title. _The Chassity Families' Summer Ball_. The title read. Oh, yeah. Every season my parents hosted a family ball (that they never bother to go to for some reason) inviting my family and other goofy rich people who had the money to pay. I don't often go there because they were usually boring and uneventful. Just a bunch of too-kind-to-be-real vain people getting their butts drunk all night long. Either that, or drooling over a local hot twenty one year old for five hours. Things would definitely be a little more lively with the Akatsuki tearing up the ballroom floor. I wanted to see just how crazy things can get with them roaming wild around a fancy party.

"Sure, Konan... Why not?" I approved.

"No! I will not have a band of skilled assassins attending a ballroom dance." Pein argued. Then, Konan gave him the cutest puppy dog eyes I've ever seen. I wanted to throw up! Pein was a sucker for them. He was falling apart with every second of that look.

"Fine," Pein sighed.

"Yes!" Konan cheered.

"But Zetsu has to stay underground."

"Agreed." Everyone in the room said at the same time.

"Aw... I wanted to see a ballroom. **No, you didn't!**" Zetsu commented.

After dinner (and the cleaning up after that) we all split up for the night. The new addition to my room was Itachi who would be sleeping on the floor next to Antonietta (I know, I'm a genius!). The basement was occupied by Pein, Hidan, and Kakazu. Zetsu and Tobi got to spend the night on the couches in the living room, while the other guest bedroom was inhabited by Deidara and Kisame. Konan joined Victoria and Jesse in the original guest bedroom.

With Itachi and Antonietta behind me, I opened my bedroom door. I found Sasori sitting crisscross looking a little startled when I opened it. I noticed that he was hiding something behind his back. I raised an eyebrow.

"What are you hiding, Sasori?" I asked him.

"Nothing." He replied. Yeah right, as if I'd believe Pinocchio here.

"He's reading a romance novel titled... Romeo and Juliet." Itachi chuckled in a deep voice. Antonietta cracked up. I couldn't decide what was more disturbing. Itachi actually laughing or Sasori reading a romance novel. I turned to Itachi and found out that he had his Sharingan casted. Sasori gave Itachi the death glare, but it was already too late. Itachi was smiling at his humiliation and Antonietta was now suffocating from her own laughter all over the floor. Even I started cracking up a little.

"Alright, come straight and give me back my summer reading assignment." I outstretched my hand to Sasori. He gave in, and tossed the book to me. I caught it, walked into the room and placed it back on my desk.

I switched off the lights in the room.

"Night guys." I said.

"Night." Sasori and Antonietta said in unison.

"Uh... Night." Itachi said a little late. I guess Sasori wasn't the only one new to this. With that, we all went to sleep for the night.

* * *

**Death: Hope you enjoyed that chapter! I know, I know. Getting there...**


	7. Dress Shopping

**Death: So sorry it took so long guys! Since summer's almost over, we've been busy recently. Stay tuned! The next chapter, I assure you will be the actual ball! **

* * *

I felt a hefty weight on me from the waist down and also some on top of my chest. I woke immediately and looked. The first thing I saw, was Toa's head resting on my chest. Phew! I thought it was someone else for a moment. I saw the coil of his body also sitting on top of my body from waist to toe. If their weren't cushions underneath, I would've been surly crushed under all that weight. I propped myself up by my elbows.

"Hey, handsome." I stroked his head. Toa flicked his tongue slowly. "Excuse, me." I managed to budge and squirm out from underneath him and sat up with feet on the floor and at the edge of the bed. Toa then coiled up in a new position and went back to sleep. I read the time. 6:00 a.m. Time to wake the others.

"Sasori, time to wake up." I whispered. He immediately blinked his eyes open and gazed at me.

"Finally." He sighed. Then sat up impatiently. "Are we doing anything today?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, actually. First shopping, then the ball." I answered as I pushed off from the bed and grabbed a change of cloths from the closet.

"Wait, ball? As in... Ballroom?"

"Yep." I answered. "Mind being my date? Don't want to get teased of not having one." I made sure that it was a steady tone. I tossed him new pair of jeans and red Polo shirt in his lap.

"Uh... I-"

"He'd love to." Itachi interrupted from the other side of the room. Was he awake this whole time? Tsk, ninjas. What stalkers they were. Sasori crossed his arms and put on an emotionless face.

"And who are you taking, Itachi?" Sasori grinned.

"Antonietta," I answered. Just then, Antonietta's eyes fluttered open at the mention of her name. She jolted up from her sleeping bag and whipped her head around towards me.

"What?!" She shouted at 6:00 in the morning. Good thing that she was the most soft spoken person in our pack, or that would have matched Jesse's volume.

"Nice of you to join the party." I smirked. "Anyways, you guys should get dressed." I pulled out a purple shirt with a black tribal design on it with a pair of jeans and tossed it at Antonietta's face. She just let it hit her smack hard on the forehead. Oh, well. I couldn't blame the girl. I then pulled out a black, blood splattered shirt and jeans and also tossed it at Itachi's face. He didn't bother to catch it either. Jeez, what's with all the morning attitude? "They're more bathrooms outside in the hall." I directed with a point of my finger to the door. I then pulled out a black polo shirt and jeans for myself and went to change in the bathroom.

. . .

"So what are we doing today, Fallon?" Konan asked. "The ball doesn't start until 7:00 p.m." The Akatsuki and my pack had just all finished a nice group breakfast at the dinning table and were all sitting up (in an unexpectedly proper fashion) neatly in their wooden seats. I finished wiping off the last of the maple syrup from my mouth.

"We're going shopping," I answered. Victoria and Antonietta immediately spit out their orange juice they were drinking all over the dining room table. I watched the flying droplets splatter all over the wood.

"Hey! That is mahogany!" Denia gasped and scolded the two of them.

"Yea! Shopping!" Jesse squealed with glee.

"What's the matter, un?" Deidara knit his eyebrows.

"Fallon never, I repeat,_ never_, recommends shopping. Ever!" Victoria pointed to me. I rolled my eyes.

"Look, we just need to buy them some outfits, nothing more." I crossed my arms. "Alright, I'll need to know the size of the shirts you're all wearing."

After a while, I finally jotted down all their individual shirt, shoes, and pants sizes onto a piece of notebook paper and slipped it into my front pocket. Don't ask about the pants... Please. Except Zetsu, he wasn't going to the ball so... Yeah.

"Ok, now that that's done, I'll need Konan to come with us to try out the dresses." I stated. "Oh, and Sasori too."

"Why do I have to come?" Sasori asked. I made up something quick.

"You'll be our little male model." I answered. I could tell he didn't really know what I was talking about.

"Excuse me?" He arched an eyebrow.

"What she means is that we're going to dress you in a bunch of stylish guy cloths weather you like it or not." Antonietta put on a devious grin. Sasori just blinked, totally unmoved. Hm, not bad.

"Ok... Now that that's settled, the rest of you guys can stay home and chill for the rest of the day. Pein's in charge." I said and snatched the van keys off a nearby table. "Don't mess anything up." I warned with a finger. I then strapped my satchel across my right shoulder and watched Victoria and Jesse do the same while Antonietta and Denia slipped their wallets into their front pockets. Konan and Sasori quickly followed us to the garage.

Once in the silver van, I turned on the engine and pulled out of the garage. Once on the road, I punched in the address for a nearby mall. Right when we were out of the neighborhood, Denia spoke up.

"So... Have you guys ever gone to an actual ball before." Denia asked Sasori and Konan in the back.

"No," Sasori answered.

"Once. In a celebration of victory after we defeated a local village." Konan said with a tint of pride.

"Yeah? Well, Fallon has been there many times be-" Denia began.

"Denia!" I whipped my head around to the backseat. "No!"

"Fine, fine. Sheesh! So personal all of the sudden." Denia waved her hand. Sasori arched his eyebrows at me. I gave him the, _I'll explain later,_ look.

"Well, what about you guys? Have you been to balls? What are they like here?' Konan asked us.

"You'll see at seven o'clock." I replied.

"You know, fancy dresses, dancing, and boys that will sweep you off your feet!" Antonietta added dreamily.

"Ooh! How exciting!" Konan chided. They then continued their back and forth girl talk for the rest of the drive there.

About ten minutes later of the light chitchat, we arrived at the mall. I parked in an empty space shielded from the morning light. It was currently about 11:00 a.m when we all got out of the car. I locked the van and slipped the keys into my satchel. Konan and Sasori (Sasori, a little more quietly) awed at the parking lot.

"Ooh! What's this?" Konan asked as she tapped her shoe on the black cement floor.

"That's called cement." I answered her. Konan kept on looking at the ground awing the whole way towards the mall.

"Ooh! Look Sasori! They even have different colors." Konan pointed to the pathways. Sasori looked slightly agitated at the blue haired Akatsuki.

"I can see that, Konan." Sasori said halfheartedly. He was paying attention to more of the important structures, like the actual mall itself, and the different types of cars driving by. He seemed very intrigued once he found out that there were people in them. Sasori caught up to me in the lead and tapped my shoulder. I turned to him.

"What are those devices called?" He pointed to a silver porsche when we were crossing.

"Cars. That type of car is called a porsche." I answered.

"So, they're like puppets right?"

"Not exactly, but you're close, I guess." I shifted my shoulders. We then entered the mall (thank you automatic glass doors). It was a large one with gleaming brown marble floors and walls, brightly lit and with people bustling about all over the place. I spotted several stopping and glancing at us. As if to say,_ what kind of wicked dye is that?_ Or, _teenagers these days_. I smirked at their funky looks. _One of them's thirty five actually._ I even saw a few blonde's blushing and giggling at Sasori beside me while they were walking by. He noticed.

"Why are women always like that?" He asked me, a woman, that question. Now, at this point I didn't really consider myself to be _all_ girl, considering that I didn't really like them either. My pack was an exception, as you've noticed. I let his offense slide and gave him the 'scientific' answer.

"Some females' hormones get the best of them and all of the sudden want to sleep with a guy just for his looks." I answered without a single breath of falter. "That answer your question?" He knit his eyebrows.

"That was very... Direct."

"I don't like to beat around the bush." I stated.

After a while of searching, I finally found Nordstrom's dress selection. They were all organized in colors. Red's and oranges to the corner, blues and purples in the other, in front of us were the yellows and greens, metallic colors to the right side, and blacks, browns and other darker shades occupied the far back area.

"Dressies!" Jessie exclaimed.

"I'll check out that section." Victoria wondered off towards the blue selection.

"Me too." Konan followed her.

"Purple!" Jesse skipped towards the, well... Purple dresses.

"Well, I'm off to the red." Denia bit a little farewell as she walked towards the red and orange corner.

"I'm going to go check out the whites and silvers." Antonietta pointed and she too walked off. I was then left with only Sasori at my side. I turned to him.

"Follow me," I walked over to the collection of black dresses. My fingers immediately started filing through the dresses, looking for one that suit my liking. I didn't want to keep Sasori waiting, so I made a quick choice. It was a black, one shoulder jersey gown with an additional loose split sleeve on the left, finished with an embellished (with crystal beads) cuff on the wrist. There was also an additional two inch beaded patch attached just above the right hip (and below the rib cage). It was all in all, very attractive.

"I'm gonna try this on for a second. Wait here. I won't be long." I said to Sasori. He nodded and looked away. _Good, he wasn't perverse after all_. I then walked into the dressing room and locked the door behind me.

I quickly changed in the the black gown. _Not bad_. I mused in my head. I felt comfy, loose, and was easy on the eyes. The gown was made of polyester and didn't polish or gleam in the light, which was fine because they dimmed the lights in the ball as it got late. I kind of wanted to know what the others would think of the gown, but the only one around was Sasori.

"What do you think?" I opened the door with the gown still on. Sasori turned his head. His eyes widened for a moment.

"You look beautiful..." He tried to mumble, but I heard it... Clear as night.

"Huh?" I tried to sound like I didn't hear that. I didn't want to push him over the edge.

"Uh, it looks good on you." He stuttered.

"Thanks." I smiled. Then I closed the door, changed again, and walked back out with the gown limp over my forearm. I decided to pay for this first so we had time to see what the others were doing. I walked over to the cash register.

"Hello, how're you doing to day?" The cashier greeted. She was a black woman, about the age of thirty (around Sasori's age) wearing a casual floral themed summer dress with her hair neatly ironed and straight.

"Fine," I answered. I plopped the black gown on the counter and pulled out two, hundred dollar bills out of my black, stingray skin wallet. As she took the money and fiddled with the register, I saw her glance up at Sasori.

"Y'all gonna go to prom together or something?" She smiled as she asked. Sasori knit his eyebrows at the word _prom_. Poor, guy. Didn't even know what prom was about.

"A ball actually." I corrected.

"Really? Which one?" She looked more intrigued.

"My family's," She then immediately jolted straight up from her packaging and gasped at me.

"Are you Fallon Chassity?" The woman awed.

"Yep." I confirmed.

"Oh my God! I've heard so much about you guys!" She exclaimed.

"Why, thank you." By then, she had finished packaging the gown in a box and slipped it into a silver bag with the recite.

"Here's your change, sweetie." She handed me the left over money. I took it and slipped it back into my wallet.

"Before y'all be on your way, do you mind telling me your name, sir?" She asked Sasori. He couldn't say his real name in front of people! They might question where he's from.

"My name is S-" Sasori turned his head and began.

"Orell!" I interrupted. Sasori knit his eyebrows at me.

"This is my date, Sorell." I gestured to him. Even the cashier looked confused for a moment. Then she narrowed her eyes at Sasori while I took the silver bag in my right hand off the counter.

"Hmm... You do look like a Sorell." She paused and change her expression. "Oh, who am I to judge a relationship!" She waved her hand. "Y'all have a good time at the ball now! Thank you for shopping at Nordstrom!"

"Don't mention it." I waved back and smiled. Sasori followed me back to the dress section. I turned around to him.

"Ok, from now on, in public, your name is Sorell. Deal?" I addressed him.

"Why can't I tell people my name?" He questioned.

"Because to them, the Naruto world is fake, ok? So if they meet a guy that's named after a character, they won't believe you." I explained. "See?"

"I see." He nodded.

"Good," I was grateful that he was bright. I couldn't stand people that just didn't get the picture. "Now lets find the others."

After about three minutes, I found Antonietta in the metallics section. She was standing with her back turned to me, debating over two dresses that she had in hand. I walked over and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and her eyes lit up when she saw us.

"Fallon! Sasori! You're here. Good, which dress do you think is better for me?" Antonietta held up the two dresses, that she was previously debating over, up. The dress on her left was a heavy one shoulder, metallic, gunmetal gown with a crafted metal bobble on the shoulder strap. I guessed the fabric was polyester as the gunmetal's flecks shimmered in the light. The dress on the left was a knot front metallic mesh gown. The interior of the gown was dull silver and strapless, while the large flecks of metallic silver shined all over the mesh exterior that lay over the interior. The mesh also covered the chest area, giving a small opening to the neck and collar bone. Additional small, iridescent silver chains also hung down from the mesh, draping over the chest. The mesh was also lined with small, fake pearls at the shoulder areas. I made my choice quickly.

"I'd have to go with the silver one." I pointed. She turned the dress to herself.

"You think so?" Antonietta turned to Sasori. He nodded. She then smiled back, hooked the other gunmetal dress on a nearby rack, and brushed past our shoulders to the cash register. Ok, one down four more to go.

After a few minutes browsing around the blue section, I encountered Victoria waiting outside the changing room with her arms crossed and a silver Nordstrom bag in her right hand. She turned her head to us.

"Hey, Victoria." I greeted.

"Right on time." She smirked. I glanced at her bag.

"What dress did you pick out?" I asked. She then reached into her silver bag and pulled out a sky blue bridesmaids strapless gown. A single twist shaped the Empire waistline of a satin-faced chiffon gown with a pleated bodice and a draped, wrap-style skirt.

"Nice," I complimented. She smiled and folded it back into the bag. "Oh, by the way, do you know where Denia, Jesse, and Konan are?" I asked her.

"Konan wanted me to see which dress fit her best. She's in the changing room." She pointed to the one in front of her.

"As for Jesse and Denia?"

"No idea," Right then, Konan unlocked and opened the changing room door.

"What do you think?" Konan was dressed in a deep ocean blue rosette detail chiffon gown that matched the exact color of her hair. Diaphanous chiffon layered the pleated, V-neck bodice and ethereal skirt of a regal, floor-sweeping gown finished with a delicate rosette detail at the Empire-waistline. She also did a little mini twirl that fanned the gown skirt out as she spun.

"Very nice." I clapped. Konan giggled as Victoria nodded. Then she took notice of Sasori standing behind me.

"Oh, sorry Sasori. Didn't see you there." She rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment.

"It's fine," Sasori waved his hand. Konan sighed in relief.

"So, you guys like it?" She turned to us.

"Totally," Victoria and I agreed. Sasori nodded. She smiled in satisfaction and went back into the changing room. I glanced at Victoria.

"Don't worry, I've got her covered. We'll meet you guys by the cash register after she finishes getting her cloths back on." Victoria said.

"Sure thing. We'll start looking for the other two." I confirmed.

I peered over at the purple section, some place that I knew I would find Jesse. Somehow, she wasn't anywhere in sight. You'd think a girl who's as psychotic and maniacal as Tobi would be easy to find in a quite dress section of the mall, right?

"Jesse, you here?" I called out. Immediately, her head popped up into view behind one of the dress racks. Man, she sure can make you think your vision's gone whack. I couldn't believe I overlooked that!

"Fallonie!" She gasped. She then skipped over with another silver Nordstrom bag in hand.

"What'cha got there?" I glanced at the bag.

"Pretty dressy!" Jesse pulled out a dark violet draped one shoulder jersey gown. Lush ruching shaped the sinuous single-shoulder bodice of the lustrous jersey gown that sported a gently draped floor-sweeping skirt.

"Yes, that a very pretty dressy, Jesse." Wow, I made a rhyme. She then slipped it back into her bag. "Jesse, do you know where I can find Denia?" Just then, a hand popped up all the way above the red section.

"I'm right here." The hand waved. Denia herself came over in about a few moments.

"Dennie!" Jesse squealed and hugged her tight. Denia smiled.

"Ok, Jess. You can let go now." Denia tugged her arms off her own neck.

After a while, we all regrouped in front of the cashier and decided to set off for the tuxedoes in the men's section.

"So how do you feel about being a wooden male model?" Denia smirked.

"The last speck of emotion I have left feels like a girl's toy." Sasori answered. We all giggled and laughed. Even Sasori smiled at his own joke.

. . .

Turns out that Sasori really didn't have to try out all those cloths after all. Since it didn't really fit him. Heck, we didn't even have to buy tuxes for all of them! I got more information about the (my) ball, turns out young gentlemen only needed a button down. Well, we did get a chance to pick out all of their attire though.

For Sasori, I picked out a sleek, silken red velvet button down shirt with black pants and tie that seemed to fit him very well. Although he kept complaining on how it kept getting caught in his wooden joints.

Denia picked out a gleaming silver button down for Hidan, along with light purple tie and black pants. She even asked me to splatter it with blood once we got home! How could a refuse such a generous offer?!

Victoria picked a silk sunbeam yellow button down for Deidara along with a matching shimmering golden tie, black pants and even a vest.

Antonietta humbly picked out a pitch black button down for Itachi along with a red silk tie and black pants. Kind of like Sasori's outfit.

Jesse picked out a (some what odd) silk ivy green button down for Tobi along with an orange tie and black pants and vest.

Even Konan decided to pick an outfit for Pein! She picked a silk lava orange button down with black pants and a silk ember printed tie. The rest of the Akatsuki outfits were a surprise.

It was about five o'clock p.m before we headed to the van with several shopping bags dangling down from out forearms, pumped up for the family ball.

* * *

**Death: Just in case you didn't follow my description of the dresses, search in the Nordstrom's website under women's formal dresses. Search by color and find the one that best fits the description in the fanfic. I know, I know, I will get to the point... **


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